Edit: Sorry for the terrible spacing in this one. When I brought Noah’s blurb in, it mucked up all of the spacing to form a giant hideous wall of text. I put the lines in just to break it up a little. Hope it isn’t too distracting!
To introduce this week’s comic, I will put up something Noah wrote for this week. It starts out by emasculating me, and then he decides to talk about the economy for some reason? Whatever, just read it. I will meet you on the other side of this wall of text.
“Nathan informs me that the reception for last week’s comic was less than exuberant. He was heartbroken. Everyone, you mustn’t upset him. He’s a very delicate little flower and must be treated as such.
_____
On a related subject the new comic is crafted in an attempt to silence you naysayers out there that hurt Nathan’s feelings. I think it ties things up nicely and will make almost everyone happy. I understand that we can’t please everyone so I must restrain from forcing you all to love all that it holy in writing and art.
______
And by the way, let us all have a moment of silence for all those stocks lost in the tragedy caused by the shortcomings of the American financial system. Oh well, I look forward to paying high taxes to pay off the debt acquired from those tax breaks given to the rich, but its always worth it in the end because we have fast food and porn to entertain us in times of crisis.
-Noah“
______
Well . . . thanks, Noah. You always manage to bring nothing but unprocessed class to the site and the comic.
______
While this week’s comic does not really answer many questions, it is a vital transition and checkpoint that must be hit/crossed/passed before the truth is revealed.
______
Last week’s comic was not so much heartbreaking, as it was intensely annoying. To say that I liked last week’s comic would be vastly understating it. I actually adored last week’s comic. I mean, I got to draw sweet blood effects!
But in seriousness, I thought the comic was delightfully silly. It had an old lady hitting a kid with a cane, calling him out for being a “democratic homosexual,” and then “sensing the Jesus” in Marlon. What is there not to like? But you people wanted an explaination. Why can’t you just be happy and accept it for what it is? Random, mindless, slapstick comedy!
_______
So now we are turning the whole thing into a four-part series, where questions will be answered. Sheesh. See what you made me do?
______
Sorry for the lack of Poop in Bed last week. I managed to snag myself a delightful case of
RSV, or as I like to call it, “
baby flu.” I’m mostly over it now except for the minor random cough.
______
And that concludes this disappointingly dull entry, I put it off too long and am writing it right before I post the comic. I will try and throw something together that will be a little more interesting to read. Should have a new Poop in Bed on Friday, as well as a new post from Joel, which will hopefully glue you to your seat . . . or make you stand up in your seat . . . I’m not sure what the good one is for the Internet.
See you all.
______
-Nathan
I’m going to get this out of the way right now. And don’t, you know, don’t explode on me like you did the last time, hypothetical blog reader.
No poop in bed this week.
Are you gonna be alright? I haven’t wrecked your Friday, have I? Don’t worry. The weekend’s coming up, and that’ll make it all better. At least until like, Sunday, at like 6PM when you begin to realize that once again you have wasted the weekend and in a matter of hours you’ll be right back at the drudge. Won’t that suck? Boy, I’ll bet you’re depressed.
But anyways. No comic this week, but here’s an actual premise that Nathan once politely declined starring our friend Batboy from weekly world news. A wise decision to not expose this to the public… until now.
Would you believe that it actually took me like an hour to make that? That is actually pretty sad.
Moving on.
I’m as guilty of this as anyone – talking to your dogs? Dog whispering? Dogs don’t understand. Yet somehow everyone feels compelled to ask the same questions. “What do you want?” “Did you make this mess?” “Why would you eat that popurri?” But dogs just give you the same blank stare, they hear the same gibberish from us (I figure what they hear sounds something like a;osdhaskljbdkjuwh oaishdosiuhr aosidjiourh) and then move on in their lives to various other states of walking, eating, lying down, and walking to find another place to lie down. I’m no vet, but all dogs understand are tones!! I say that like no one else has figured it out yet. But if people did realize that, then maybe they wouldn’t always talk to their dogs in various forms of humiliating ways. In fact, I made a graph (says alot about a person’s level of nerd when they break out that nugget. “oh, not convinced about a statistic? Well let me show you this graph I made!”)
Now, I know you may all be saying, “but you haven’t seen my dog! You don’t understand the impulses I get to talk childishly because my dog is so cute!” I am going to stop you there. I have to struggle with this more than anyone. Here is an actual real life picture of my dog.
So don’t tell me the struggles you’re having!!! I’ve been through enough!!!!!
its three thirty am in canada. im out
- joel
They can strike at any moment! Old people, that is. Watch out for people who wear comfortable slacks and frown upon “young people.” They could be an old person in disguise.
More blog tomorrow. Stayed up too late finishing this comic.
Edit (7:03pm): Bit too sick for a blog. Sorry. Next week!
The following may be the worst blog post in the history of blog posts.
I am a big fan of breakfast cereal. It is probably the most important thing in my life right now. Special K, Froot Loops, Choco-Puffs, I eat it all. All cereal is created equal in my eyes. In fact, I’m eating a big bowl of cereal right now. I realize that when people see you eating cereal at, say, 3PM, they wonder how your life has gotten to a point when a mid-afternoon cereal snack has become acceptable social behavior. But it doesn’t bother me! I will gladly pour myself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios (classic reliable choice) at 7 pm and bear the stares of everyone around me. It is nature’s perfect food, and by nature, I mean Kelloggs.
This very morning I had poured a bowl of plain old Corn Bran cereal. Brand new box. Wasn’t expecting much. Corn Bran is always slightly enjoyable, nothing more, nothing less. So out I pour, when I see what come out of the recently opened box? A SHREDDIE. HOLY COW! I couldn’t believe it.
Another cereal anomaly for you all – about a week ago, I poured myself a bowl of Just Right cereal, which is the perfect blend of oats, barley, and some other nerd grain (I actually brought this cereal up in conversation with Nathan, since I am an exciting conversationalist, and found that you Americans don’t actually have Just Right cereal! What a sad existence you must lead. You can keep your world dominance and cultural empire, I will be happy to stay at home with the perfect blend of oats and barley). But yes, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and discovered that I was out of milk! So instead of pouring it all back into the box (lame) or eating it dry (even lamer and depressing), I decided that I would try to eat it with Iced Tea instead of Milk. I mean, that could be good, right?
Wrong. Worst taste combo ever.
I think that’s the most depressing thing that can ever happen to someone. Because when you want cereal, you want cereal. It’s not like you can get yourself into a toast mood after you’ve decided on cereal. And when there’s no milk, a reality hits you like a ton of bricks – you’re not having cereal today.
Alright. I promise I will never write another word about breakfast cereal in these blog posts again. Maybe one more time. Moving on.
Poop in Bed! What you’ve all been waiting for. This one is based on an actual dream I had a couple of weeks ago. You know those dreams where you are so disappointed to wake up from? This particular one certainly worked in that fashion.
till next week!
Joel
The pillow is back. And this time he craves something. What is he craving, you might ask? I guess you will just have to find out for yourselves.
This is not the comic that I wanted posted this week, but alas, better judgment overruled it. Noah and I had our weekly comic writing session and created a comic that we both found delightfully humorous. It involved Tim’s religious enlightenment and certain terrible things happening to a pig. If you would like a sense of what was happening to the pig, then maybe infer from past sources.
Unfortunately, while I crack a smile every time I even hear a vague mention of, in a Biblical sense, “lying with an animal,” chances are, that you are one of the many in my readership who do not find the idea of people engaging in relations with animals to be funny. It’s likely that you think it is vile, disgusting, and should never be mentioned, like the majority of our society. Although if you do share that aspect of my humor, then perhaps we shall meet someday and share a laugh.
So see, we do care about you. Now go spread the word and then start buying the merchandise when I finally get my stuff together.
NEW SITE NEWS!
That’s right, I received an update on the progress of the site today. And things appear to be coming along nicely.
Since Joel started posting, people have frequently been confused. And, like wild animals, when you are confused, you tend to lash out in fear, so far I have been:
- Mistaken for a Canadian.
- Been reprimanded for the vile and offensive content of Poop in Bed.
Thus, in the new site design, I have requested an avatar system so that Joel, Noah, and myself will all have unique avatars for our entries. No longer must you be confused! Of course, seeing as this is my site, the art will be drawn and handled by me. I was so excited to hear that the avatar system could be implemented, that I quickly whipped up the avatars to be used.
Joel’s:
Noah’s:
Mine:
See? Instantly recognizable! Joel, the lovable middle-aged sex predator, Noah the lipstick-wearing . . . Sasquatch, and me, the immensely virile and sexy hunk of man. Notice how I am wearing a cape? Pardon my French, but they don’t give that sh*t out to just anyone.
I bought an iPod Touch on Sunday, or as I like to call it, “my iPhone minus the phone,” which I guess would just make it an “i.” Anyways, it is possibly one of the most delightful things I have ever owned. I honestly am not a huge music person, so carrying around “tricked out beats to groove to” is not a magnificent selling point for me. It seems like my music library is so listened to, (it is on a loop while I draw comics), that at nearly any point in time, I despise 95% of the songs that I own. The biggest selling point for the device was the Internet access, which is just about the best thing to ever happen to me. This means three things:
- I can check my e-mail wherever there is Internet access.
- I no longer have to run to my computer between commercial breaks to check my e-mail.
- I can now do the morning browse of the Internet without leaving my bed. (Despite the fact that my computer is exactly two steps from where I sleep, and starts up in about three seconds.)
Just thinking about those perks is almost enough to bring a tear to my eye. Especially while waiting for hospital appointments. The hospital is wired (or unwired) with a free wireless network. My joy is incomprehensible.
On a final note, there is a good chance you have heard of Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog by now. It is a 45-minute musical about a super-villian who blogs about his plans to take over the world and other such things. It is highly entertaining, well done, and is a must-watch. You can buy it on iTunes for $5.97 for all three parts, or you can watch it for free online at their website.
The only reason I bring it up so late, is I had heard it was good when it first came out, downloaded it to my iTunes, and there it sat for several months. When I got my “i,” I put it on there and had a substantial amount of time to kill in the waiting room today. Go watch it. It’s terrific.
As you may or may not know, next week is “crap week” for Gamer Candy. I say it is “crap week” because I feel like crap, not because I consider the comics made on those weeks to be crappy. Hopefully it should have color next week, at least, but something will be uploaded.
Oh yeah, and a new “Poop in Bed” comic will be up on Friday, accompanied, as always, by a blog post by Joel. It will be right here in the News section.
Politics season is in full swing! For two full years now the news cycle has been dominated by every little hiccup and misstep a group of politicians have made. That one is grumpy! That one is dumb! That one has a pimple! We just can’t get enough gossip from our celebrities, so now our politicians are bringing us our share of scandals!
Of course, I say “our” politicians. But I have a secret admission to make – I am a Canadian. Yes, one of those. Don’t judge me. Yes, it is cold. Yes, we play hockey. No, we don’t marry beavers. That only happened once.
But American politics dominates even our news cycle. Peter Mansbridge (who could run CIRCLES around any Brokaw or Couric) brings us our news on a nightly basis with his lovable reassuring charm. He is a true Canadian success story – instead of rising up the ranks through journalism school and hard competitive work, he got his job after being spotted doing airport security. The head of news saw him and was like “Hey, I guess that guy would be alright for this news thing. He has a funny shaped head. He is so hired.”
So every day our news comes on sharing the latest news from the American political front. Then with about ten minutes left in the broadcast, they remember something else.
Oh yeah. We have our own election going on right now. In a month.
I guess that’s sort of important.
So, Americans. I’ve had to listen about your candidate’s fashion no-nos and choice in breakfast cereal for two years now, so I’m going to return the favor. Prepare to suffer (or potentially just skip to the end. Our candidates are incredibly bland)!!!
2008 CANADIAN ELECTION CANDIDATES
STEPHEN HARPER
Ah! The incumbent and current Prime Minister himself! You might be thinking to yourself, “ehh, he’s not so bad! He looks like a politician! Perhaps he might even be engaging!” You’d be wrong. See that facial expression? That’s his only look. The half-smile dopey eyed straight face. Nuclear bomb explodes? Dopey-face. At least your current President has a range of monkey-like emotions. You can’t even make fun of our guy. Everyone basically agrees he’s doing an alright job running an alright country. He has an alright fashion sense and an alright speaking style. Not exactly helping Canada’s image in the world’s eyes as being anything more than an alright nation with an alright economy and alright foreign policy. We are so lame.
Stephane Dion
The opposition! This well-meaning French liberal is a smallish looking guy who no one is exactly thrilled with. Of course in America, everyone was psyched at the prospect of having the first woman president or the first African-American president, but somehow the first overtly French dude being Prime Minister doesn’t seem to thrill anyone. Of course, any hypothetical Canadian blog readers out there might be like “but we had a French-sounding prime minister dude in Jean Chretien for over ten years!” and you’d be right. But that guy was hilarious. This guy is a grumpy small French dude who also brings the whole boredom factor as well. Now, hypothetical blog reader, you might be saying “but wait! Politics shouldn’t be about flashy tabloid-ish subjects such as pregnancy and people from the past!”. And you’d be right. But the only reason Canadian politics doesn’t bring that stuff into the news is because these guys haven’t done anything remotely exciting in their entire lives. If they tried to tabloid up Stephane, the headlines would be like “Dion forgets to shoulder check while driving!”
Jack Layton
You know you’ve got a problem when the most charismatic candidate looks like he should be working as the owner of an auto parts store. This guy has been trying to get elected for like 12 years now and comes in third every single time. You almost wish someone would just let him know it’s not gonna work out. Even placing second would curb his rampant alcoholism.
Elizabeth May
Look out Sarah Palin! A new charismatic female candidate is on the rise. Well, not really. The leader of the Green Party (which has become synonymous with “failure”) has about as much chance of winning the election as Dennis Kucinich did (that guy was a laugh riot). But you’re behind the curve on this, America! We’ve already had our first female Prime Minister! She served for five months in the most unpopular government ever. We Canadians like our Prime Ministers old grumpy ineffective white men.
Gilles Duceppe
And, of course, everyone’s favorite grumpy French uncle, Gilles Duceppe. He’s one of the fellas that wants to separate Quebec from Canada and make it it’s own sovereign nation. How swell! I love their policies, which, as far as I can figure it out, amount to something like this. Foreign policy: separate Quebec from Canada! Economic reform: separate! Military strategy: separate! They sure are wacky!
I hope you’ve enjoyed this crash course on Canadian politics. I am sure it strife with errors, as my analysis of stuff like this amounts to observations like “he has a odd-shaped nose” “she looks sad” “he should shave his mustache”. I realize that Canadian politics is not ample material for comedy, and I’d sort of like to apologize for even trying.
BUT I CAN MAKE UP FOR IT!
It’s friday, and being so that brings about a new Poop In Bed. This week: Nicolas Cage! I have never heard anyone ever say anything like “I like that Nic Cage. Solid actor!” it’s always like “He ruins everything.” So with that in mind, we came up with what I think is ample material for a reality show or sitcom starring Nic – but sadly enough, this is likely what he endures every day. Enjoy!
till next week!
Joel
Animals are now a part of the comic, and are here to stay. There is no sense trying to avoid it, because try as we might, animals just keep coming back. We don’t actively sit down with the goal of “animals,” it just seems like more often than not, we think of something funny that involves an animal. And so, as sick as it sounds, the animal is often harming someone, or something terrible is happening to the animal. In this week’s case, it is both.
A quick update: as you may or may not recall, I discussed how Gamer Candy is going to be renamed “Good in Theory.”
Then nothing happened.
The truth behind that is, I was trying to design the new site with the goal being a vast improvement over the current design, which I feel looks pretty amateurish. I feel like the comic has grown and improved much over the last few months, and it has outgrown this little homemade html code it resides in now.
The problem is this current site is the best I can do. My experience in site coding is extremely limited, and I am not in any way committed to spending hours learning how to code. So I have pieced together a site design in Photoshop, and given it to a freelance sitebuilder who estimates that the site design should be completed in 2-3 weeks. So . . . in 2-3 weeks, you should be reading this blog on a new site!
Okay, I am pretty sure that news was much more exciting to me than it was to you.
Here are portraits of Tim and Marlon I that I did over the week for the new site.
Now this is the part of the blog where I attempt to pull something from the depths of my anus to entertain you. And by anus, I mean brain.
You know, where I attempt to write about something completely random in a humorous manner. You might remember when I did a quick commentary on a number of CNN articles. Did that work? Did you like it? Or did it fall completely flat? I don’t know! Tell me! I’ll give it another shot this week, I guess.
. . .
This is a tragic story actually, so don’t read it, because if you do it will be even harder to entertain you. But let’s focus on the part that is ridiculous. In Africa, during a soccer game, one of the players was accused of “witchcraft” and it started a riot. Arguably, magic would probably help during a soccer game. I would assume that he was enchanting the ball to magically shift in his team’s favor. It works, but not terribly creative. Here are some spells that I would have cast on the ball:
-Change into a bowling ball for a fraction of a second. This curse would have to be activated as soon as the opposing team was about to kick the ball. Also very useful when kicked and is sailing through the air towards the goalie.
- Becomes ghost-like. What I mean by that is that mortal objects pass clean through it. Added hilarity since their foot would swing high into the air. I mean, I would know. I missed kicking soccer balls in gym all the time. And people laughed. And judged, with their eyes.
- Testicle-seeking enchantment. Pretty self-explanatory. Maybe it could also increase to supernatural forces and speeds. Not so effective on most women’s soccer players.
. . .
I am not going to link this article, because it is grim. I will give you the gist of it though: a man is arrested for punching a puppy. That is really terrifying for some reason. Now all he needs to do is get a tattoo that says, “I punch puppiez, yo” and no one would ever mess with him again, ever.
Oh, except for guys with “I punch puppy punchers, yo” tattoos. The Puppy Puncher would be pretty f***ed if he ever ran into one of those guys.
. . .
This article isn’t that interesting, but one aspect of it is. The title of the article is, “Mt. Pleasant Mom Sentenced in Candy Scam.” That’s hilarious! Can you think of a more care bear-sounding title?
“Laughter County Man Charged With Teddy Bear Fraud.”
“Milk and Honey City Woman Arrested for Giving Away Free Puppies and Kitties to Giggling School Children Without a License.”
“Cheerful Meadows Police Department Bust Massive Cotton Candy Smuggling Ring.”
. . .
“Marching Band Pelted With Rocks, Paint,” because no one likes marching bands.
. . .
Alright, I can’t find anymore articles that I can think of quips for, so I will point you towards last weekend’s opening skit on Saturday Night Live. I guess Tina Fey came back to play Sarah Palin (who already looks a lot like Tina Fey). It is funny enough, but you should just see it for how nearly mirror-identical she looks to Sarah Palin.
Oh yeah, and if you missed it: Joel and I put up a new Poop in Bed last Friday. Joel also discussed the Large Hadron Collider (read his blog if you don’t know what that is.) A friend of mine pointed me towards a video, which I think follows up Joel’s blog quite nicely.
Righto. Should have a new Poop in Bed up on Friday, and so until next week . . .
Bye.
Congratulations!
Why is this a feat, you might ask? Staying alive? WELL, and as if you haven’t enough to worry about these days, apparently our doom might come to meet us on October 21st. Forget World War 3, Global Warming, and SARS (whatever happened to SARS? people were worried about this being another plague… but it turned out to be just another Y2K. how disappointing.) – if you want to get worried about something for no reason, meet the LARGE HADRON COLLIDER.
Terrifying! Now, you might be asking, what is this immense Stargate SG-1-ish looking thing, and how likely is it to transport alien babes to our galaxy? Well, hypothetical blog reader, apparently not very likely. The purpose of the machine is, as far as I can figure it out (and I got a C- in Science class) is that these Scientists (or as I like to call them – NERDS – because they are smarter than me and will always make more money) are determined to figure out what happens when certain particles smash together and create dark matter, which is weird and doesn’t make sense to me – but basically, they want to prove some theory that some dead guy wondered about. Cool! I will wait for them to do that while I play Ninja Gaiden 2 (which is less fun than it sounds).
Alright. So basically people are worried that doing this Science stuff will create a miniature black hole which will proceed to suck all life in the universe into it and we will cease to exist. That would kinda suck. But we gotta prove theories!!
There’s no way to know what will happen until they turn the machine on October 21st. We’ll see what happens.
In regards to this, here is my favorite website in the world right now.
Changing gears entirely, we have another Poop in Bed for you today. Spam email is weird, and it is confusing to think that it must sometimes work – people ARE making a living off of it. Who is gullible enough to fall for this stuff? My personal favorite spam email involves the rich dignitary living in Africa who has funds locked in a bank account somewhere and only YOU can unlock it, simply through five easy payments of $19,000. The thing about those emails is that every time I read one I still somehow think that MAYBE it is true and that by deleting it I am blowing a huge opportunity.
My other favorite spam email is the threatening chain letter. These go something along the lines of “send this to 11 of your friends or the spirit of the dead girl will come and murder you in your sleep!!!”. I think it would be a pretty boring afterlife if you spent it threatening people to send out email forwards.
But of course, one of the most common and popular chain emails is the ever-effective penis enlargement email, and it is the starting point for this week’s award-winning Poop in Bed.
till next time!
joel
I told you there would be a new one.
Granted, it has no color. The difference this week is I got into the hospital a day later, thus I got out a day later. Now I would like to establish that about every third comic should be considered a miracle, since I create them when I am feeling pretty shabby. The shabbiness in this case was accentuated about 30% I would say.
Sooooo . . . that in mind. This comic can’t be criticized. It just can’t. Try it. You actually can’t. I have enchanted it. With a spell. And science.
Tune in next week when I feel better, and will have a comic ready that reaches the standards of quality you have come to expect.
PAX was awesome. At the end of the third day, I emerged penniless, exhausted and somewhat bewildered by the sheer amount of stuff that I had to take in. Oh yeah, and sorry to the other PAX attendees.
PAX is a gaming convention, so I am going to talk about the gaming things that I saw there, so if that really isn’t your cup of tea, you can skim on to something else. There is a picture! Of the back of my head! Bald and painted! Might want to skip to that I guess.
Before I go on, I should just say this: GAMER CANDY is not canceled! GAMER CANDY is still being updated weekly on Wednesdays! POOP IN BED is just something that Joel and I are doing on the side. Apparently a self-proclaimed “lone retard” (her words, not mine) was led to believe that Gamer Candy was being replaced by Poop in Bed. It is not. They will co-exist, like walruses and seaweed.
Back to PAX, several awesome highlights. I got to play Left 4 Dead. First impressions? ****ing INCREDIBLE. It exceeded my expectations by magnificent amounts. The downside is now I am about five times more excited for it. November 20th feels decades away. Before it felt like years. DAMN YOU PUBLIC PLAYTEST! I also got to talk to an environmental designer from Valve, who was able to answer some questions that I had.
We attended a number of panels, most of which were Gabe and Tycho on stage answering questions. Good stuff, highly entertaining.
The exhibition hall was intense, like literally intense. There were so many people, so many things, it was great. So many freaking lines. I think we spent about 70% of the time at PAX waiting in lines, but with a group of friends and three DSes, it was a bonding experience. Plus we also got some killer seats and actually were able to play the demos.
After seeing some of my friends return with rich bounties of magic cards from the Wizards of the Coast booth, I learned to play while waiting in line and soon had a deck of my own. Now I am an even bigger nerd. I am just sliding down this slippery slope.
Another cool thing was the booth for Brothers in Arms: Hell’s Highway. It was set up like a military tent, with sandbags surrounding it, and actors dressed up as American soldiers, even sporting authentic 1940s infantry uniforms patrolled the perimeters of the booth, model M1 Garands slung over their shoulders. Intrigued, and a fan of the series and anticipating the game, I approached and saw attendees getting fake tattoos sprayed on their arms, and then I saw someone sitting in a chair getting their head shaved. An attendee. This truly peaked my interest. I approached and saw a sign proclaiming something truly delightful:
“GET A HELLCUT AND GET A COPY OF HELL’S HIGHWAY FREE!”
Just then, as if the universe was urging me on, a slight breeze wafted over my bare scalp. I am already bald! All I would have to do is have the little hairs on my head shaved and have “HELL” painted on the back of my head.
And so . . . after two hours of waiting . . . I was rewarded for my patience.
I think that the best part about this picture is how the background looks dark. The room was actually very light. The seemingly darkened background, combined with the flash causes my flouresently white skin to appear even paler. Fortunately the paint came off very easily, and I was able to scrub it off as soon as I got back. Now I don’t have to pay $60 for a game! I guess you really can put a pricetag on dignity!
Finally, we tried out a new game on Xbox Live Arcade called Castle Crashers that was just released. It is a super cool side-scrolling adventure game designed for co-op with 2-4 players. It is incredible, with a similar feel to Four Swords. It must be purchased and played. Now.
I am returning to the hospital again this week, and so it is now looking like a new Poop in Bed will not be ready for Friday. I don’t even know how I am going to get next week’s Gamer Candy done, but it shall happen! I swear to you!
Enjoy yourselves. (Not like that.)
Well, hi! It’s nice to meet you, hypothetical blog reader. My name is Joel, and this is my first blog post since a couple of months ago!! I guess that’s actually not that impressive. I collaborate with Nathan on the future bestseller Everyman, a complex and multi-layered narrative focused on the perils of one Trent Hughes, a bubble wrap technician turned hero. If I may drop all modesty for a moment – it is awesome.
I toiled at making these comics by myself for months, and the results, while “charming” (actual quote), looked as though they were drawn by some sort of half-weasel half-man creature. I am at most quarter weasel. But Nathan seemed to take a liking to them and I was happy to let the art become leagues above terrible (actually very good). Of course, now I am leeching Nathan’s bandwidth for a little while as the first issue gets worked on, so I figured I would try and earn my keep. By the way, this is a very nice server you keep here! I especially appreciate the taste in php broadband vector filter monitoring (<– nonsense).
But before I do earn my keep, may I first introduce the first comic in our newest series, aptly titled “Poop In Bed”. It is a simple comic designed purely to elicit laughter, in what I like to call a “lolmageddon”.
POOP IN BED
Seriously. What is there in those movies that needed fleshing out? I was at best mildly entertained by the first. It had some okay chase sequences and explosions, as far as I remember. But after being dragged to the embarrassingly named “2Fast 2Furious”, I no longer wanted to be friends with Paul Walker.
The scary thing is, in looking up information about this prequel, I came upon the trailer for “Fast and Furious”. And somehow I find myself thinking that it could actually be pretty sweet. It looks mildly entertaining! If I were at the theater, and someone was like, “Let’s see the new Fast & Furious!” I could see myself agreeing! What is wrong with me?
Anyways.
Earn my keep.
As we all know, Gamer Candy, or by it’s new name’s acronym, GIT (pretty hilarious acronym if you ask me), is a solid source of laughs every Wednesday. So what better way to earn my bandwidth than to direct more people to the source? In lieu of shouting “gamercandycomic.com!!” out my window (which I briefly considered), I decided to let the lonely operators at the LandsEnd.com technical support line have a early morning chuckle.
I conducted this chat at 8AM! Which begs the question – who rushes for technical support on their cardigan sweater purchase as soon as they wake up? Puzzling.
——————————-
Sharon L: Welcome to Lands’ End Live! How may I help you?
Joel D: hi sharon
Sharon L: Hello. How may I help you today?
Joel D: first off, how are you, sharon??
Sharon L: I’m good, and yourself?
Joel D: changing the subject, do you often find yourself bored at work, sharon?
Sharon L: Is there anything I can assist you with today?
Joel D: boy, i hear that. sometimes i get so bored that i SHOUT at my co-workers!
Sharon L: Sir, is there anything you need assistance with?
Joel D: you know, that pushiness could be a result of not enough laughter. did you know that doctors prescribe 5-7 laughs per day?
Sharon L: No, I didn’t know that.
Joel D: i have the perfect solution. check out GAMER CANDY! it will change your life.
Sharon L: Sir, if there’s nothing you need assistance with, I’m going to have to disconnect this chat.
Joel D: it’s just that i have this new outlook on life thanks to laughter, and i feel like i have to share it with everyone. now i know how mormons feel
——————————-
And with that, Sharon felt the need to hang up on me. But I feel like I really got through to her!
With my civic duty done, I decided to take a little time off and explore the social side of Lands’ End. I really did enjoy Sharon’s buttoned down approach to life and decided I would like to spend the rest of my life with her.
Unfortunately, I was next connected to Barb, who I pictured as a middle-aged grump. Favorite TV show: Two and a Half Men.
I decided to try my luck.
——————————-
Barb F: Welcome to Lands’ End! My name is Barb F. How may I help you today?
bigbrothajonpimpin: A/S/L
Barb F: Can I help you with anything today?
bigbrothajonpimpin: do you like kissing
——————————-
And with that, she disconnected the chat. Can’t say I blame her.
The next day, I was sitting at work with nothing to do (as per usual). I decided in lieu of the typical beer surveys I usually fill out (which net you an amazing $5 per survey! a steal!), I would conduct one last chat with the my new friends at Lands’ End.
——————————-
One moment please while we connect you with a customer service representative.
You are now speaking with Jillian L.!
Jillian L.: Welcome to Lands’ End! My name is Jillian L.. How may I help you today?
joel : jillian! the jillster. hows it going today
Jillian L.: Great! What may I help you with today?
joel: boy, i tell you what, i was looking at your fall collection of school uniforms and they are charming! i am looking to strengthen workmanship in my office, and would like to purchase uniforms for my employees
joel : do you have adult uniforms?
Jillian L.: We do! We actually have an entire separate division called Business Outfitters. Would you like the link to their page?
joel : are you serious
joel: wow sure
Jillian L.: Absolutely! It’s fantastic…here’s their site.
Jillian L. has sent you a web page.
joel: i’ll level with you, jillian. this was my idea of a “prank chat”. i am actually pretty flabbergasted that there are actually work uniforms
joel : thats pretty cool
Jillian L.: Sure….we outfit entire companies.
joel : well this has been very enlightening
Jillian L.: Great…anything else I can help with?
joel : do you want to go out sometime?
Jillian L.: Can my husband and 4 small children come along?
You are prevented from using Live Help.
——————————-
I have to give her credit for that last line.
So I hope that I have begun to earn my keep here at Gamer Candy. Perhaps none of the Lands’ End operators will check out the comic as of yet, but it’s all about name recognition.
Now please excuse me as I shout the website address out my bedroom window at these unassuming bystanders.
- joel.
Do falconers (falconeers?) ever play fetch with their trained raptors? I mean, you have a bird that flies really fast and can grab small objects with ease. It seems like the perfect fit! I imagine it would be so satisfying to throw a tennis ball and have your super bad ass bird return it to you. Still, I guess there would have to be room for error.
Well, I have got an announcement: I am starting another comic! Well, it’s not just me. I had been thinking about doing a “sketch” comic, where the art simple is simpler, there are no colors, and have a bit more freedom in the humor. I approached Joel, who is the creator and writer of Everyman, and suggested a collaboration on it.
Initially I had just suggested that he start writing a weekly blog post on here, I thought that it might have some added incentive if it had a comic attached to it as well. Thus, “Poop in Bed” has been formulated. Hopefully the title will offer an idea of the ultra-serious tone of this comic. Really. Pooping in bed is no laughing matter. The first comic will be posted here, on this blog, this Friday, accompanied by a blog post by Joel K. Dryden.
In other news, PAX 2008 starts this Friday, and I honestly could not be more pumped for it. Noah, as well as two other friends are coming to Seattle for our pilgrimage to gaming mecca. If you are unfamiliar with the Penny Arcade Expo (PAX), it was created and is run by Gabe and Tycho of Penny Arcade fame, so basically it is a big gaming convention for gamers, by gamers. Pretty serious nerd fest. They are expecting 50,000 attendees this year, so naturally I am anticipating a thicker crowd density. (Up from something like 30,000 last year.)
Pity. Pity the poor souls who are forced to stay with me during PAX. We are going to be there hours before each day begins, while the vast bulk of the swarm is still curled up in their nests. The somewhat pointless part of arriving early is that we will probably wait much longer than if we just came a little later. Why? Why do I partake in this madness?
I am a psychotic.
There is just so much going on at PAX, that I hardly can list everything I am looking forward to. Definitely the biggest highlight for me is getting to try Left 4 Dead. I am quaking with anticipation. Such a nerd.
Well, that’s a bit it for this week. Kind of a boring entry, but I hope that your expectations are equally low, as I would hate to disappoint.
Hopefully Joel’s entry on Friday will be awesome. I highly encourage booing and hate mail if it is not the greatest thing you have ever read.
-Nathan
REMEMBER: THE NEW COMIC BEGINS THIS FRIDAY! IT WILL BE POSTED HERE ON THE BLOG! BE SURE TO CHECK IT OUT!
(This was meant to go up at midnight. GAH!)
Friends on Facebook are sometimes family as well. Unfortunately, certain applications make no discrimination, leading to some difficult calls.
I don’t get Facebook, to be completely honest. It seems sort of ridiculous the majority of the time. I am one of those people who figures that if you see a person all day, everyday, there really isn’t much need to communicate with them otherwise. I guess persons of a more social nature than myself feel otherwise.
I have an excuse for partaking in the shameful Facebook-ing. Since I am away from home, 98% of everyone that I know exists in Alaska, thus, it keeps my thread-thick ties taut.
I have viewed such social networking as a “predator catalog,” in the past. A place where fat, old pedos could browse to their heart’s content to find me to molest. Then the shining realization hit me that there is a certain degree of effort on the molestee’s part. Basically, I see it as, if you get molested by an online predator, you are a moron. Just don’t go to the houses of people you’ve met online. Or invite them over. Statistics have shown that people you meet on the Internet and invite over are creepy old men who will molest you. 12 times out of 10.
In fact, the only person that I have met and know exclusively online is Joel. And as always, there is the underlying threat that he is a molester, just waiting to molest. I was informed by a friend that the amount of time it requires for you to be sure that someone online is not a threat is two years. So in just under a year, Joel will cease to be a middle-aged man who lusts for illegal gratification.
Until then though, regard him as such.
In the topic of Joel, if you have been on board with me for awhile you are familiar with Everyman. The project that I draw and Joel writes. Obviously there has not been an update in forever. That is entirely my fault. 100% me being bad. We have decided to change the format from “weekly” to “issue . . . ly.” That’s right! Now comics are expected to be released in issue format online. Hopefully we should be seeing that first issue within the next few months.
Until then, Joel’s hosting expiration is imminent, and the current site will be closing down soon. Do not despair! The site will be moving to a temporary home, sheltered under this domain which can be viewed at http://www.everyman.gamercandycomic.com. It will be relaunched with the first issue. I really liked Joel’s observation on the situation:
“This is the Internet equivalent of being kicked out of your apartment and staying on a friend’s couch.”
Oh, and the new site (Good in Theory) is being designed. I can’t build websites. 
Enjoy.
-Nathan
Note: Sorry for some broken links and a few unupdated pages last week. I should not try editing HTML while on anti-nausea drugs.
Who helped build the pyramids of Egypt? Chickens! Their vastily superior knowledge allowed them to carefully plan such complex projects as the pyramids, as well as organize governements. Chickens and humans worked together for a long time, and then something happened, which we unfortunately have to pay for.
So how ’bout them Olympics, huh? Are they interesting? Anything special this year? I have no idea!
The Olympics happen all the time, and they involve sports that I don’t care about anyways, so I am confused to see why I should care about them now that it is in the world’s arena. Despite that: Rah rah USA!
I saw Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D last week. That was pretty fun. It looked like such a pile of garbage when I saw the trailers, but it was surprisingly entertaining. I doubt it is going to win any awards, but it is worth watching once, I suppose, if there is nothing better to do. The 3-D was entertaining, but it had the ability to murder my eyes since it tried employing depth-of-field, while making that 3-D as well.
I have been going online and watching videos. There is something weirdly hilarious about their obvious opinions on what they are reporting on. Here is a shining jewel. It isn’t the best but I am having trouble finding the others. Also, take a moment and notice that all of their female reporters are white and have blond hair . . . hmmmmmm.
This is a struggle to write this blog while feeling drowsy on anti-nausea medication. I know that the last few posts have not been terribly exciting, I will attempt to make up for it next week!
The small, larval creature presented in this weeks comic is loosely based on my own young cousin. The unbridled enthusiasm for Legos as depicted in the comic is fairly inaccurate, as my experience with Henry and Legos consisted of “you squat in a dank corner and assemble this fifteen-million piece spaceship while I sit on the couch and watch TV.”
Some fairly big, and relatively boring news this week. Gamer Candy will soon cease to be called Gamer Candy. This has been coming, for quite some time. In the early days, when the comic was simply a squalling babe, it was intended to be a comic strip about two gamers who played and talked about video games. Sound familiar?
The intentions were never to create a Penny Arcade clone, in fact, it just seemed reasonable to make a comic where the humor was based around our primary interest.
The comic has been striving to distance itself from its gaming comic peers, a group which the gems are muddled by heaping piles and piles of feces.
I did not like the name, Gamer Candy, when it was first created, but since then it has grown on me, like a smelly, mangy mutt that just wants someone to love it. Unfortunately, the name fits a gaming comic, which Gamer Candy no longer is. The base idea is that someone who didn’t want to read a gaming comic would see the name and not want to read it, while someone who saw the name, and assumed it was a gaming comic, would be disappointed.
So the time has come for the name to change to fit the evolution of the comic. Hopefully with a new name it can no longer appear to be clustered in a dung heap, but instead, a lone turd resting on clean, white linoleum.
We brainstormed, and also asked the mailing list (you, the readers) for suggestions. We got a decent number together, rounded them up in a list, and then began hacking it down. When the dust settled, the new name emerged.
Good in Theory.
That’s it. That’s the new name. Now cease! Cease the fear and panic this change has no doubt caused you! The name change is not instant, and a good deal of work must, in fact, be done before it becomes official. As for now, Gamer Candy stays Gamer Candy.
In other news, I have been hired by Eyeskream to draw pictures of their mascot, Skreamie, as well as art for a site comic. While it is not a “paying” job, I am compensated by having my domain name, as well as hosting fees taken care of. Woo!
Okay, you can leave now.
Seeing as Noah just wrote about it, Watchmen looks amazing. Zack Snyder is directing it, and he made 300 and the Dawn of the Dead remake, two of which are awesome films. The trailer has got me really excited, I am definitely looking forward to this movie.
I know that Nathan expects me to entertain you all with this piece of writing but when I try to be funny it doesn’t turn out the way I’d like; so I will be writing this as I see fit without distracting myself with silly references.
First off I wrote this comic because I feel that people out there, who for whatever reason don’t believe in something as obvious as global warming, are either blind or just plain stupid. Some things are true whether we want them to be or not and stubbornly ignoring them won’t make them go away. This comic may offend these individuals and what have I say to them is that I’m sorry (not really). If you don’t like it then don’t read it, it’s the way this thing works. Well, it could have been much worse because during the editing process the phrase “bull shit” was replaced with “hippy propaganda”. In truth I don’t think this comic was ever intended for children, but I have no problem with making it child friendly. This blog however, is not child friendly so if you’re a kid go watch SpongeBob or something.
Well that’s it for my speech, now I want to talk about the comic itself. In reality the whole comic is very ironic because burning someone at the stake would be much worse for the environment than throwing away an aluminum can. I just thought it would be interesting to see what it was like to do a comic about a controversial subject. I hope that it turns out well, because I haven’t seen it yet as I have no idea what is happening in the art department.
Interestingly enough, I was reading through Nathan’s entries the other day and I saw he made some recommendations so I thought I would give some of my own. Seeing how much Nathan trusts my movie reviews I’ve done some for you guys:
Snatch (2000)
Written and Directed by Guy Ritchie
One of the best British crime films to ever hit the Box Office. Outlandishly funny and cleverly written this film is one of my personal favorites.
In Bruges (2008)
Directed by Martin McDonagh
An interesting blend of comedy and drama, it moves in unexpected directions with highly flawed characters and spurts of often dark humor, this movie is a truly unique specimen.
You as the reader must understand that these are my opinions nothing more and I understand they may differ from yours. So I don’t want hear any comments about how you didn’t like either one of these movies because frankly, I couldn’t care less what you think about my opinion. First of all seeing any film is a bit of a risk, there is always a chance that you won’t like it, so if you enjoyed either one of these films that’s great I’m glad, but no complaining because it’s annoying.
Before I wrap this thing up I must bring to your attention two more films that have caught my eye that have yet to be released: Watchmen and RocknRolla. Watchmen was brought to my attention by Nathan and I didn’t think much of it at first but after looking into it, it seems to have the making of an entertaining film. RocknRolla is the latest crime film from Guy Richie and looking at his former track record my hopes are very high. Ok, well I’m really not sure how to wrap this thing up so I won’t bother, just go and watch SpongeBob or something.
You probably did not hear about this. A 27-year old man was arrested for, *ahem*, “coupling” with a number of sheep. A hobby generally frowned upon in most circles of society. As “always,” Gamer Candy has a shocking speculation on the subject this week.
At the end of the article, it says that the maximum prison sentence for beastiality is two years. I am really curious how that conversation would go with a fellow inmate.
“. . . And then I stabbed that sonuvabitch in the face! So . . . what are you in for?”
“Boinkin’ sheep.”
A friend of mine, Cody Klingman (who you can see credited at the bottom of the comic) was visiting over weekend, and was helping brainstorm ideas for the comic.
While he was here, we picked up a used copy of Guitar Hero III, as well as two of the controllers, as to engage in some pretend guitaring.
There is something strangely engaging about clicking in time with the music, actually quite engaging. Engaging enough to keep us playing for about twelve hours one day. I woke up after that with my left hand crippled, unused to the strange amount of movement. With each solid press with my pinky, I could feel my tendon being stretched like a frayed cord, and yet I pressed on.
Unfortunately, I am terrible at rhythm games, and lack any true sense of a beat. As we played co-op (him on guitar, me on bass) I could only watch as his fingers flew in complex patterns, frenzied movements translated into a smooth rendition of rock music. I slowly plunked away at my note patterns, keeping a solid single-note base line, all the while screeches and warbles eminated from me as I missed the orange key . . . AGAIN.
The bass part was poorly designed. It seems like most of the songs have relatively simple and easy rhythms to play (as compared to its breathren the guitar). Unfortuantely, some songs grow much more complicated, required arthritis-inducing hand splits at alarming speeds.
If you haven’t guessed, plunking slowly at single note columns does not prepare one for such a steep transition.
My weak attempts to play the complicated parts were mostly frenzied buttons presses and maniacal strums. Eventually the crowd would tire of us and boo us off the stage, or in layman’s terms, we would fail the song. Usually at these times Cody would look back with a mournfully straight face and ask, “Do you have a hard part, or something?”
I have found two webcomics that I feel deserve mentioning. Both contain some pretty serious swearing, so steer clear if you are bothered by that sort of thing.
Slackerz- This comic has been brought into the spotlight by VGCats, and I absolutely love it. I cannot describe how hilarious this comic really is. The art style is fairly simple, yet stylized. This is actually one of the funniest comics I have read in awhile. If one of angry old people at the MPAA was to rate it in movie terms, I would have to say it would be rated R: For strong language, some violence.
Polkout- I have really been wondering about this one, just for the reason that it is highly offensive and rife with scatological humor. The art is pretty simple, borderline bad, but that has a certain charm to it. The humor comes from it’s offensive and twisted jokes. This is not a comic for the faint of heart, which gives it an almost South Park-ish like vibe. Be careful! Rated R: For Strong Language, Sexual Content, Cartoon Nudity, and general vulgarity.
Seriously. The Slackerz comic on CSI: Miami, (one of the worst shows on TV since Walker Texas Ranger) is quite a laugh if you are at all familiar with that show. I mean, I laugh when I watch the show, it’s so bad. Alright? This show is terrible.
So anyways, I am holed up in de hozpital for a few days, should be getting out over the weekend, and probably won’t be feeling at the top of my game. Never know. I will at least upload something unless something serious comes up.
See you in a week.
Teen pregnancy is up. And of course, in an effort to help, Gamer Candy has released this comic.
I’m bald now, bitches. The hair started coming out a few days ago, so I figured I would just cut to the chase and shear it off. Let me make it known that I hate hair. Being bald has perks.
-Drawable surface.
-Ever had a dog lick your bald head? Of course not, you’re hair people. It feels so awesome that it is borderline perverse.
-Love the wind blowing through your hair? Try the wind blowing over your naked scalp.
-Terrifies the younguns. I am considering getting a white undershirt to wear at all times, completes the criminal look. Unfortunately I lack both the arms and body art to truly pull it off. Seriously, my arms are paper-white and basically twigs. (Keep it under control, ladies.)
Although wonderful, there are a few downsides worth mentioning.
-Sensitivity to cold. I was turning on the shower and a gush of icy water hit my hairless skin. I am still astounded at the sound I made. Like an orangutan getting a bikini wax.
-Spider webs . . . need I say more?
-Sharp tree branches dangling down, preferably with some kind of biting insect resting on the leaves.
-I am now very white, and very bald. I don’t even think I need to elaborate on that.
In other news, I have been doing lots of Stumbling as of late and I have managed to scrounge up some pretty awesome things. I will share some of the shining moments with you here.
-Sketch Swap, draw something, and trade it with someone else.
-Magic Pen, a very cool game. Esentially a direct rip-off of Crayon Physics, except you can play it right now. Definitely worth playing with.
-Send an e-mail to yourself in the future.
-An archive of the Internet, has the ability to see nearly any site at any time since it’s creation.
-Musicovery, this is an amazingly cool online gadget. Enter in the genre of music, and the beat or “mood” and it will let you listen to a bunch of songs based on your selection. Shhhh. Don’t tell the RIAA.
-And finally, Shift. A very short flash game that has highly innovative gameplay and strongly reminds one of Portal.
I hope this has fed at least some of your insatiable hunger. Next week is iffy, but I am pretty sure I can get one up!
-Nathan
Not a fan of fast food. I have mostly given it up, except I ate something from IHOP awhile ago, and then spent the night and following day quite nauseous.
I inserted a controversial word in this week’s comic. I am aware that my grandmother, and a few other similarly pure parties read this comic, so to them, I hope that they were not too offended.
VERY sorry for the late comic. I was quite literally and unexpectedly detained at the hospital for the past two days.
I will add to this post tomorrow. Check back if you are interested.
Alright, some basic news: I have added ancient blog entries from the old site. I stepped back into that quiet tomb-like area of the Internet and brought them back like shining artifacts. It was pretty amazing. Soooo, if you for any reason wanted to read the very boring, and excessively bland entries from the “old” days, be my guest. Also working on bringing the comments over, which is a real pain. Boring stuff.
I lied. I don’t have a lot to add to this post. I put this image up while I scrambled to finish the comic, you might have seen it.
Amazing, I know. See you in 7.
-Nathan
This week’s comic is simple enough. I drew it last week, thinking I would be unable to make a new comic while I was in, and was afraid that I would be feeling too sick.
I am very glad that I did, as there is no way I could have gotten this one done today. Felt too blah.
Next Week! I shall be prepared to resume the full-form comics you are used to!
-Nathan
Oh yeah: And thanks to whoever put the site up on Stumbleupon. It was a pleasant surprise to see that traffic!
Gaming: Heavy is next.
Okay, so there will definitely be a comic up next week. Like “bet-your-first-child” definitely.
The latest comic can be viewed here. It involves the return of the pillow, who I enjoyed drawing and writing for so much that I really wanted to bring him back. I have more to say about this comic, and stuff to write about in this post, but it is too late for such things now (12:58 AM PST) so I will write something tomorrow morning/early afternoon. Hope to see you there.
This is just an all-around weird comic. It has no purpose other than being really strange. I was in Portland for the bulk of the week and last night decided that I was going to cook up a comic, just for the sake of remaining on schedule. I like the pillow, since he is so easy to draw, and I felt like I could have him say some really cryptic things that would be out of place for either Tim or Marlon. Consider this week’s comic as a “thinking of you” sort of thing. Like a card, wishing well. It was created for you, so that you would not be completely disappointed when I missed my deadline.
Don’t ponder this comic too much, just wait for next week and hopefully we will be returning to the high class humor you expect.
The game went well, in my opinion. It lasted for the bulk of the day, and went better than I was expecting. It seems that Noah has a perchance to roll ones at the most inconvenient moments, leading to a slight distrust on his reliability. For the record, a one is a failure. Meaning it always fails. In these instances, it would result in a gun jam of varying degrees, a humiliating miss, or accidentally shooting a friend. Good times.
I must go into the hospital again this week, and should be getting out early next week. I have no idea how I will be feeling when I get out. I could be enthusiastic and ready for comic crafting, or I will be taking the next week off. It really depends. I will attempt to have at least something to fall back on if I am not feeling up to snuff, but I will give the same guess as last week and say: “There could be a comic, but don’t bank on it. Don’t rule it out, I will try to get one up, but it is unlikely.”
Edit: Comic made, will be up next week.
Bit of an empty post this week, will try and do better next time.
I am blown away by the art in today’s Penny Arcade. I remember them talking about this storyline at PAX 2007, and if it all has this kind of vibe and artwork, it could quite possibly be some of their finest work. I have got to order a print of that one.
As promised, the latest comic is up. And yes, it is about eating, again.
There is nothing more I have to say about this one. I hope that you enjoy.
Yes, my stint in the hospital has ended, for now. I must go back in next Wednesday, but I am still hoping to have a new comic up next week. Don’t count on there being another one the week after. I am not saying you should completely rule it out . . . but it’s probably not terribly likely
The stay in the surgical ward was not as long as the last time, but still, it was the surgical ward. I wasn’t going out of my mind this time, as the novelty of not having to do anything, and being able to pretty much do whatever I wanted (within the confines of my room) was still very fresh.
I am going down to Portland this weekend, with a very specific plan in mind, a game plan actually. It is a game that is played vocally, and with a book, and dice. Dammit, that’s right. Table top freaking roleplaying.
It’s actually not D&D, which some may be thinking. It has the delicious title of, “All Flesh Must Be Eaten.” It really turns some heads when you say it aloud in public. It is an RPG that centers around zombies, as in the dead-walking-around-zombies. It’s interesting, especially if you gather a group of players.
I am taking up the role of the “Zombie Master,” or the person who leads the game, such as in describing the world, gives the players something to interact with. If you think about it, most video games are just very complex “Dungeon Masters,” that have the ability to give you a very rich and detailed world to play in.
I had ZM’ed with Noah’s group of friends before but was very unprepared. I went in and made up a story and a world on improv. It was tough, especially managing the separate stories for over five people.
This time . . . this time I have created a world. A world craving spoken heroic action. I have designed “levels” in a sense. Each with enemy layouts and choices whose outcomes may affect everything. Ever. I am really hoping it works out. It will be an interesting experience and I am looking forward to it.
I am slightly ashamed of the whole tabletop role playing game thing. It is such a nerdy thing to do, and it was one thing I told myself I would never get into. But it is fun, and I do enjoy it, and really, that should be all that matters.
BUT
I will never LARP. Never! Live Action Role Playing is the most frightening thing I can imagine. My greatest fear is that I will one day turn into the kind of person who charges full force at another, wielding a foam sword and sweating under homemade elven armor in the noon heat of a public park. (The first minute and a half of that video is totally worth watching.)
Just say NO to LARP.
Well, I don’t consider that gaming blather, more of “I am a HUGE nerd blather.” It is now time to talk electronic games. The game speak ends with the next bolded text.
So as you may have heard that Pyro Updates are expected to drop tomorrow, with a full pack of Pyro achievements as well as three delicious new weapons. Oh yes, and “Meet the Sniper.” I would have to say that this is probably my “Meet the . . .” so far.
Now for a rant. I am sick and tired of people talking about how this is going to “ruin the gameplay.” For one, these are people who have not even played the new updated Pyro. They are reading about the Pyro’s new ability (to push people away with a blast of compressed air) and the new weapons. I admit, I am skeptical about how it will work, but I have faith in Valve. Alright guys? I think they typically know what they are doing. Stop instantly assuming that they are going to ruin the game. Chances are, this thing has had the **** tested out of it, and if it unbalances the game, they are going to FIX IT. I, of course, could be wrong, but still, give it a chance before you decide that it will ruin the game.
Another thing that I find annoying is how obsessed people are with getting these achievements. Yes, the prospect of new weapons is exciting, but to read pages of people complaining about difficult achievements, and how hard they will be to get is aggravating. Take the last medic pack. I love being a medic, and the achievements have enriched the experience for me. I like just playing, and seeing what gets unlocked, and then I am rewarded with a cool new weapon to play with. I don’t know why people have to take unlockables and turn them into a chore. Sheesh.
Gaming talk ends here.
Seems as if I have run out of chatter for this post. Thanks for reading. I hope to have a new one for you next week.
I’m still in the hospital: so hopped up on pain killers that I can entertain myself for two hours by staring at a blank wall.
Should have one next week.
Today’s comic is different. Attempt to forget any of the rich continuity and character development which you have come to expect. There are no rules in this lawless JPEG.
This was a collaboration between Noah and I. You might know Noah from such classics as Discontinuity and This Really Happens Kids! In fact, he even came up with the idea for the first comic. Last week he presented the idea of creating a comic that he could use as a visual in a presentation about The Great Gatsby. We present to you an elaborate metaphor of the agony of the wealthy and their endless search for happiness that involves sandwiches and LOLZ.
We had a pretty fierce argument involving the title of this comic, which he insisted must be called “The American Dream.” Normally, when we reach a disagreement in the comic, we can usually compromise or come to a point where one of us gives. This was a stalemate, I wanted a more simplistic title which summed up the comic, while he wanted the incomprehensible, cliche, and boring title.
I took the low road and abused my power. Since I am the one crafting the image I changed it to my preferred title. On the version I sent to him for the project, I titled it “The American Dream,” while the one that you see here today is called “The Sandwich.”
Let’s see if he notices.
I go in for surgery on Thursday, and my goal is to have the inks of a comic ready so I can color them while I am in for next week. I have been spoiled by my awesome Cintiq, and now my normal WACOM just ain’t cuttin’ it.
Having just moved into a new residence down in Seattle, I find myself painfully absent of the Internet that I need. It’s an odd feeling, just until Friday anyways. It’s painful. I feel somehow disconnected from all of my information. It’s quite a weird feeling to not have the Internet to entertain me while I don’t have Internet.
Expect a new comic next Wednesday, but I can’t promise it. I will definitely write a post next week.
The motives behind this comic are not very deep and convoluted. Please, endulge.
This comic is actually quite a landmark for me. It is the first comic that I have ever finished from sketches to word balloons in one day. This may not seem to exciting, but to me the mere idea was unthinkable before. This new computer and monitor are really streamlining the process.
Today I learned that I am nearly guaranteed to return for yet another surgery, so comics might have to be put on delay for a week or two. (Hopefully no more, preferrably less.) Surgery isn’t all bad though. There are a number of things that are actually quite positive about surgery.
1. Laughing gas- Do I have to say any more? While they prep you for surgery, this inhaleable is provided.
2. Nurses- They’re cool, they’re nice. They also come running to serve your every whim at the press of a button.
3. Long days of nothing- Watch TV, play games, surf the Internet. It’s like a vacation. What else are you going to do?
4. Extensive time- I can do new things that I would not have done before. You know the flash ad on the homepage? That was a byproduct of lots and lots of time in the surgical ward.
It is a pain in the neck, it is rather disconcerting to have to return for the third time in about two months to have my lungs operated on again. I will do my best to work a little ahead so that maybe I can keep the schedule that I so passionately adore.
I don’t have much more to write about. Enjoy your week! New comic should be up next Wednesday!
-Nathan
It happens all the time, young school-age children will be enjoying themselves: cone party hats adorn their heads, games are played, cake is cut, presents are opened . . . then there is an accidental murder.
So the first order of business is thanking Dermot Cole for featuring me in his column on Sunday, which also carried a reprinting of “Vital Signs” alongside it. It was an honor.
I find writing this comic is interesting. Character depth is deeply lacking in the comic, but in my mind I have a very strong idea of who these characters are and what they are like. The quote in this week’s comic, “big-ass party,” is something that I would never say. In fact, I find it rather annoying when people say it, as it is just crude for crudeness’ sake. For some reason, having Tim say it really fit when I wrote it. It’s a cool feeling, to have a character help in the writing process. I hope that I can find a way to start better developing the two, so that maybe you too can get a sense of their personalities. Huzzah: a goal!
I honestly cannot think of anything to write about, but I feel like I would be doing you some kind of disservice if I did not at least try to entertain you while you are here. After all, you did go to the trouble of clicking the “News” link and all. In a frantic attempt to amuse, I am going to go to cnn.com and pick out different news stories to write about.
. . .
News about Obama and Hillary isn’t even entertaining anymore. It’s just getting old. PICK ONE ALREADY!
. . .
The WiiFit. It’s a cool idea, and it looks like it would be a fun way to excercise. Unfortunately, like practically every Wii game out, it’s just a stupid gimmick! What I mean by this is that it is not so much a “video game in the traditional sense.” Take Wii Sports, like the bowling game. It’s not so much a game as it is: “Get Grandma to play a video game and maybe she’ll stop looking at you with contempt for the corrupt generation that you represent!”
. . .
A women resorts to living in her car with her two dogs after becoming homeless since she was laid off from her job. Nothing funny about that poor woman and her situation, but there is a video link in the article that says, “Watch women who live in their cars.” To me, that sounds rather voyeuristic. Couldn’t they have just called it, “Women who live in their cars?” Watching seems like a thing that is prolonged, you watch a movie, you watch a show. If you say you are watching someone, I immediately get an image of you hiding in the bushes at night and watching them dance around in their underwear.
. . .
A clinic in Boston is providing sex changes for kids as young as 7. (Please don’t let my grandma read this.)
“But mommy! I don’t want to have a penis!”
“Dammit Susie! You are getting a penis, and you will like it!”
(this is going downhill fast.)
. . .
Donkey was put in jail for assaulting a man. Does that one even need a joke to accompany it? I think we need to apply all human laws to animals, like public indecency. We need to make it mandatory for dogs to wear pants, because who doesn’t like a dog wearing pants?
. . .
Well. I hope you gleaned some hint of amusement from that. I might do it again if I have nothing to write. It does just fine as filler.
Oh, and episode one of Penny Arcade Adventures, “On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness” comes out today on all computer systems (PC, Mac, Linux) as well as Xbox Live Arcade. Definitely going to pick that up. It is the first web comic that’s been made into a video game! (I think.) Dis sheezy be important, yo. (Sorry.)
See you all next Wednesday, or sooner if I get up and actually do another Everyman.
-Nathan
A new comic is out! But this time it is for Everyman!
And I did some art sometime last year for a friend of mine. I actually told him that I would post it here a few weeks ago, which I failed to do, so I now present it here.
It’s called a midgetog, and I inked and colored it off of a sketch which I later found out was drawn on a sticky note. Credits to Josh D. and Josh C. for the idea and design, both prefer not to be fully named. That little gizmo on the side there is supposed to be an insulin pump, as Josh D. is diabetic and has infused this characteristic of his with this fantastical creature. It’s supposed to be a mutant pug sort of thing . . . with crab claws . . . let’s move on.
Random stupid gaming blather, in which I rant about a Flash game that someone is providing to me for free and I don’t really like but for some reason persist in playing:
I pondered whether or not to mention The Last Stand 2, which hit Newgrounds earlier this week. If you are not familiar with the first one, it is browser-based flash game in which you must defend your little barricade against hordes of zombies. It’s pretty basic, select your weapons and click as fast as you possible can at the shuffling zombies. The first one received a lot of media attention and acclaim, and became ridiculously popular. I had actually played it before it became famous, and I was not very interested. I believe I quickly ceased playing and I thought it seemed somewhat poorly designed. I didn’t actually give it my full attention until Noah called up one day and raved about it.
On the second shot, I enjoyed it a fair bit. When I saw that the sequel was coming, I was interested. I am actually quite impressed that such a game with actually fairly elaborate artwork was thrown together in about five months.
I almost put this game away again. I can safely say that I am not a fan. It is pretty amazing for a little flash game, but it is sometimes bug-ridden and frustrating. The encounters are almost too random. It oscillates between being a decently challenging experience feeling like the game is tying you up and slinging you into a corner. For some reason, the designer of the game felt that when you died, it was necessary to allow you to retry, but trap resources were not restored from the previous failure, and any killed survivors remain dead. This in itself is an absurd flaw. It means that despite you having enough difficulty beating that level, the game actually works to make it harder on your second attempt. This only continues until you have an unbeatable level and are clicking the close button on the Internet window.
Weapon balance is a joke, guns switch between awesome and suck . . . some. Once you have the hunting rifle and the chainsaw, you are set. If you don’t have any survivors with you, other than in the beginning, just stop playing, or re-open the game. You will fail, or else wonder why this town has so many fat zombies that have somehow become sprinters after death.
I feel sort of bad about critizing this game, as it is pretty decent. I feel like the exposure it has gotten is overwhelming and has somewhat raised expectations above what is resonable for a free-browser game. I remember hearing a friend of mine say, “All Flash games suck.” Sadly it’s somewhat true.
. . .
Except for Indestruto Tank. Indestructo Tank is wonderful. (Except for the “campaign,” which is an abomination.
Well, I will be back here writing when The Last Stand 3 is released, because I somehow enjoy playing the series, despite its flaws. I just love zombies, and I just love free. The two go quite well together.
GAMING BLATHER CEASED.
Oh! And my business cards finally came in the mail! Woo!
Sorry for the scan quality. I blurred some information so would-be stalkers and deranged lunatics will have a tougher time locating me. Take that potential attackers!
And I guess I have an RSS feed now, due to a reader request. You can subscribe here if you would like, for up to the minute updates.
See you on Wednesday and such.
-Nathan
So the secret is now known to the world . . . a scandalous hobby accompanied with by a most ridiculous fashion choice.
This is cool, I am thoroughly enjoying updating weekly again. It’s nice to be able to receive some good feedback from readers. I really cannot complain!
The Cintiq is a dream come true, I am blown away by how much faster I can make comics! For one it is much easier to draw smooth lines with a larger drawing surface, and it takes away the hand-eye coordination required on a tablet.
I had been contemplating going to Emerald City Comic Con this last weekend, and talked myself out of it. I scanned the names of the guests who would be attending, and became startlingly aware of how I do not read many comics. I am not a fan of the superhero stuff, there are some exceptions, but I usually have to be introduced to them, as it is not a genre that I actively seek out.
I figured that there were four people that I would interested in meeting:
1. Scott Kurtz of PvP.
2. Robert Kirkman of The Walking Dead (and a number of other things that I have not read.)
3. Gabe and Tycho of Penny Arcade.
The admission price was $15, and it seemed like it was quite a bit of money to pay to go buy products from these people, two of which I have spent a day with, and would mostly be going up to their booth to see if the recognized me when I was wearing glasses.
It turns out it was a good thing I did not go. I was reading the PvP twitter, and found out that Kurtz, upon returning to his home in Texas, discovered that he had MRSA. This means that if I had gone there, and perhaps shaken hands with him, it would have quite possibly become a huge pain in the ass. The hospital which I am forced to frequent is terrified of dangerous and infectious diseases. (Makes sense.) MRSA especially is spoken about in hushed tones.
Changing the subject: I finally wrote the “About” page! So now bewildered and confused readers and new-comers can look to this helpful guide for their education.
New comic scheduled for next Wednesday. A new Everyman is finished, so I think that should be up really, really soon, if not right now expect to see it tomorrow. I will write a post to notify you of its release.
-Nathan
I am free of the hospital! After being trapped in the same room for 15 days, I have taken it upon myself to record this harrowing experience.
Truth be told, it really wasn’t that bad. I had my laptop by my side so I somehow managed to stay entertained. My trusty DS accompanied me as well, although the novelty begins to wear off after several days of solid play.
The nurses probably were the highlight. I can safely say that I did not have a nurse that I did not like. Of course, like some kind of self-promoting parasite, I seldom let a nurse escape from their shift without giving them a link to the site, it was a small way to say thanks . . . as well as potentially gain a reader! In this comic the two nurses are actually caricatures. It’s too bad I could have not drawn more . . . I felt guilty about having to select only two nurses to draw as they were all so wonderful. Thank you nurses!
At least I will have ample character material if I ever do a comic about a Nursing Convention.
I thought I would mention this: since Gamer Candy has such an unpredictable update schedule, I do a mailing list which I send an instant notification when new comics are up. So far, the list has a good number of people and I am always looking to add more e-mails. If you are interested, just drop me a line at:
gamercandy@gmail.com
It is entirely confidential, and your e-mail will not be shared with anyone and it will not be viewable by other members on the list. I wholeheartedly encourage signing up.
Another idea that I had was using Twitter. If you are not familiar with Twitter, it is a feed that when updated, sends a notification to either your mobile device or . . . I am pretty sure your e-mail. I don’t know how many of you have Twitter or would be interested in acquiring Twitter to receive comic updates. I have been using the system for a awhile I really like it for up-to-the-minute information. Please let me know what you think.
I posted a few entries while in the hospital, which I am nearly certain no one has seen, so I encourage you to look back, even if it just for the one piece of kinda trippy art that I drew.
And a new Everyman was put up last Wednesday, so you might want to check that out if you missed it.
You can tune this last part of gamer blabber out if you like, for those of you who are leaving, see you next week!
Grand Theft Auto IV: basically the biggest game now. I had never played, nor have had any interest in the series until I started reading the unanimous glowing reviews. Considering myself somewhat of a connoisseur of video games, I decided that I needed to swallow my preconceived notions and give a go. As far as a I can tell, the praise is justified. I am so new to the series that I don’t have a clue really what to do. Aside from the occasional car chase, I follow the basic rules of driving: I drive in the correct lane, stop at stop lights, and avoid mowing down pedestrians
I can’t imagine anyone playing this game in a more weeny way than I am. I rear-ended a fellow at a stoplight, and he got out of his car and started swearing at me. I then, kid you not, got out of my car to see if the game had a way for us to exchange insurance information.
That’s all for now. NEW COMIC UP NEXT WEDNESDAY!
Apparently I did a poor job at conveying as to what my new computer from Make-A-Wish is precisely:
I got a Mac Pro with the following specs:
Two 3.0GHz Quad-Core Intel Xeo
NVIDIA GeForce 8800 GT 512MB
Two 500GB 7200-rpm Serial ATA 3GB
Then I can’t recall how much RAM I got, it was a decent amount. Other than that, just some extra bits and pieces like and Optical drive and wireless. It also came loaded with Adobe Creative Suite 3 Design Premium.
Then, one of the most delicious parts of the entire collection is my new Cintiq 21UX monitor. It is completely amazing. I am blown away by how awesome it is.
All of this rolled together creates a dream art-producing package, all made possible by the excessively generous people over at Make-A-Wish.
One quick note: Maybe you’ve seen this, maybe you haven’t, but I was fiddling around with Photoshop and made a little “ad” for Gamer Candy. It’s at the bottom of the screen on the main page.
Should be getting out of the hospital very soon, and then I can begin production on a new comic.
Fin.
And the latest Everyman comic is up!
This latest blog post, and now in fact the entire blog itself has been made possible to you by an awesome guy named James Burton. If you had happened to click the link sometime last night, you would have seen that in a weak attempt to update the software running the blog, I managed to completely destroy it. Fortunately I was referred to James, who does upgrades and repairs for people who are WordPressically challenged. All he asks for in return is a humble donation to his site. It is worth it, by far. It is worth every penny.
I just cannot handle the technical aspects of WordPress, in fact I had so much trouble trying to figure out how to install it, I actually took advantage of the services offered by the folks over at Install4Free. As the name suggests, they install WordPress . . . for free! I referred Joel to them, I was so satisfied with their results. I highly recommend them to anyone who is struggling with a WordPress install.
Also, on another note. As many of you know, I have a mailing list which I send out a notice when a new comic is up, since the schedule is so erratic. I have been playing around with Twitter recently, and I wonder if that might be a better way to send updates. I don’t know if there will be enough of you who use Twitter to make it worthwhile, so please let me know if you think this would be a useful thing.
Still stuck in the hospital . . . so no comics for awhile as it is such a pain to attempt to wield my tablet while in a hospital bed. I did manage to rustle up some previous, unpublished art that I have done, so I will post that here in a few days.
Surgery went all well! But I am trapped in the surgical ward of the hospital for who knows how long. It really isn’t bad at all, quite relaxing actually, except for I am essentially a prisoner because of my own slow recovery.
I had forgotten if I had uploaded this image or not. It was originally intended to go as an image for a custom 404 Error page for the site, but then I realized that programming a custom 404 page is complicated and I do not have the attention span to sort it out.
I will try and put up a little more filler art later this week, and a new Everyman comic will be up on Wednesday!
It can happen to anyone . . . a quiet Friday night at home, and suddenly your house can come under siege by fanged animals.
As the second Gamer Candy update in less than a week, I feel good. It seems like it was just four days ago I was posting a comic. Such behavior like this cannot keep up as this Friday I am scheduled to enter surgery, so I will be out of commission (which you are probably numb to now) for at least a week or two. I hope that these two comics with keep you satisfied until after my recovery.
There is something special about today’s comic . . . besides its Eisner-worthy and brave social commentary. 
This comic was created entirely (minus pencils) on my new “baby.” The kind folks over at Make-A-Wish were awaiting my call, and they brought over the machine, forged for the sole purpose of making comics, and being awesome. It’s just a wonderful thing. And, on another plus, I can now completely dedicate my Windows machines to gaming. Huzzah!
That is the blurb for the day. Take care!
Airport security may be bad now but when it gets this point you know the government has gone too far. When you’re exhausted and flying back to your grandparents’ house (which is on another continent) is not an option, you’d be surprised what you do just to get home.
This comic represents the sacrifices brave tourists make every day so that we don’t have to deal with them clogging up our parking garages. However, airport security is a necessary evil in this modern day and age to protect us from something even worse, AXE DEODORANT! Banning this potent nasal beverage from cramped aircraft is the best choice the FAA ever made.
In any case traveling can be stressful and you need to expect the unexpected when it comes to new safety procedures. Difficult choices my need to be made and you better be ready when the customs officer holds up an empty sample cup and says “Pass it through the door when you’re done.” (Sorry, got a bit carried away there.)
I just hope you enjoyed the comic as much as Nathan and I are planning on enjoying Army of Two (fat chance). But don’t let it scare you from traveling because the ultimate sacrifice is worth it every time.
Storylines are cursed. I have proof.
The worst has happened, and I have been forced to remain in Seattle for treatment. This explains the large lull in updates. About two weeks ago, I underwent surgery and had a lobe of my lung removed, so I was somewhat . . . busy.
This time is different, and I have all of my supplies to continue comicking (minus my scanner.) Regular comic updates should hopefully resume quite soon.
I am dropping the current storyline because . . . well . . . I don’t want to continue it right now. I feel like something looser that won’t have any demand for continuity. I may pick it up and provide a conclusion sometime in the future. It shall not be forgotten! (maybe)
Penny Arcade! I did indeed shadow Mike Krahulik (Gabe) and Jerry Holkins (Tycho). The comic from that day had a cool little detail. The character representing me is not a caricature, since it was drawn before I went to their offices, so instead it has a reference to a familiar shirt around here.
And thus, a day late, the story continues with the sealing of the deal.
I experimented with curved balloon tails. Some of the results are amateurish, sorry.
A reason for the tardiness is I have returned to Seattle for a week long “excursion.” I did manage to color part of the comic on the plane, but it is rather difficult when your laptop is roughly the size of a CRT monitor. (I exaggerate.) Airplane seating is not especially roomy either, but at least I did not have to sit next to two diseased, large and hairy fishermen . . . that is a story for another time.
Sometime in the relatively near future, the charitable people at Northwest Wishes are delivering me a shiny new baby to assist me in my artistic laboring. Yes, I know, it is a Mac. And I know, some people are morally opposed to such systems, but I already have two custom built Windows systems draining the electric bill. I figured it was time to diversify. My monitor-to-be was made with the help of magic, so you know it must be good. (Note: The Make-A-Wish site says it grants wishes to children, which creates the illusion that I am six. Awesome.)
Also, in association with Northwest, the kind masters over at Penny Arcade have so graciously allowed my humble self to observe their workings for a day. Very exciting.
I am trying to craft a new Everyman, but unfortunately I did not have the time to sketch it out and scan it in. I am currently contemplating sketching it digitally. I should stress that I hate sketching digitally. We’ll see how that goes.
This was linked on Penny Arcade blog. I recommend it for some bizarre laughs.
I can’t guarantee a comic next week, but I might do a little bit of art or something in between.
‘Ppreciate it.
And now . . . three weeks in the making . . . a realistic depiction of the conflict overseas!
So much for a weekly schedule, so much for Wednesdays in general. I wanted to be anal and try and stick to a Wednesday schedule, but then it was drawn to my attention that it really does not matter when I update. I think that future comics will follow a similar schedule. I will aim for every week on Wednesdays . . . or a little before or a little after. Flexibility is awesome.
Edit: Oh yeah, I forgot to credit Peter Pearson (*peterpson) on his amazing Splatter brushes. They are a bit small in the comic, but you can still see them in action in Panel 6. I only used about two or three, and there are over 50! All of them are amazing! Kudos Pete!
Are you ready to answer the call? Are you ready to enlist to defend freedom? Can you find the strength within to defend your country and your home? Does all of your military knowledge come from video games? Good! You are ready soldier!
So here it is, hopefully sparking the rebirth of weekly updates. This comic, if you have not discovered from the title, is the beginning of a story that I plan to continue for a little while. Hopefully, nature will be kinder to this new story, rather than to the earlier attempt.
The weather in Alaska is a balmy -40 F. Bleh, makes me glad my primary hobbies (comicking and games) are indoors.
Well, it is late, and I should probably sleep some if I hope to have at least some semblance of a productive day tomorrow. Keep your eyes on the site, I am aiming for the second part of The Enlistment next Wednesday.
Take as much care as possible.
Well, the one year anniversary of when Gamer Candy went on hiatus was January 25th. I have got the pencils for the next comic ready, and I am planning on restarting the weekly Wednesday update schedule starting with this next comic. This year is nearly guaranteed to not be as f(or)ked up. (God willing.)
Keep your eyes peeled. It will be on a Wednesday, (not tomorrow) I swear it.
I am, as you might have already noticed, failing at getting back on my schedule. I probably should not have tried to create a 12-panel comic, without “cheating,” while at the same time trying a new art style for 2/3 of it. I hope that you will enjoy it when it comes out, as it has been fun to make, even though it is taking a while.
Some sad news I heard today: A great web comic, The Perry Bible Fellowship will be ending weekly updates, looks like it’s only going to be a monthly. It’s a great comic, with a cool style and some pretty twisted yet hilarious jokes. Sigh . . . now the wait between them is even longer . . .
Anyways, I was trying to secure a little freelance claymation job. It was kinda funky, and I never got a response when I asked for more details. Here is a rough character design that I sent in as a submission. I had first shown them my Gamer Candy and Everyman stuff, which they were interested in. I sent them this, they liked it, but wanted to see a different design, when I asked for more details, I got no response. So . . . I was sorta considered! :p
The next post should be news accompanying the NEW comic.
Well, still no comic. I am working on an Everyman 2 and it is taking awhile. I have also resumed normal life and now have and actual schedule. My days of little or no demands are over. I think that I have an idea for a new Gamer Candy, but it is sure to offend some parties. A little controversy to shake things up once in awhile, eh? I’m also not totally satisfied with it.
I attended a “comic jam” tonight. A local cartoonist had some people get together and we just drew stuff, playing drawing games and such. That was pretty entertaining. I’m considering posting the drawings, but I don’t think that they would be particularly riveting to anyone. They seem kind of like “inside jokes,” things where you “had to be there.”
Soonish my friends, soonish.
Hey everyone! Reporting in from the sunny island of Hawaii! I have discovered that being in the sun and swimming is a bit more delightful than comicking right now, so I don’t expect any comics for a little longer. Sorry! I did a little goofy drawing of a zombie. It’s not very polished or nice, but it was entertaining to draw.
Filler:
Catch you all later!
Probably about a week before I resume cartooning!
I still wanted to do a little art, something that didn’t take too long or had any deadline. I remembered in a forum that I frequent, a member had asked me if I would draw a picture of them. That was about a month ago, so I finally got around to it a few days ago. I tweaked it a little until they were satisfied, so I present the final version for you:
When I was a youngster, I would often wander about, while dozing, completely unaware of my surroundings. Sleepwalking is what I think the kids are calling it nowadays. It got pretty interesting, but nowhere near as dark and frightening as other sources would lead us to believe.
I have had several misadventures stemming from this nocturnal disturbance. As a young child, I would often wander out into the living room, and creepily stare at my dad, usually not saying a word until he questioned as to why I was up. At that point I would stagger back to my room, seemingly possessed.
One frightening event was when I was about nine or so. We were staying in a hotel in an airport. Anyways, my mother was woken by a strange noise, she peered over to see me, trying to open the hotel door, which was dead bolted shut. Who know what would have happened if this lock was not in place. Would I have wandered out into the airport and eventually came to? Completely disoriented and confused? When confronted, I made a motion as if applying some kind of ointment to the lips. I am/was a weird little bugger.
While interesting, my sleepwalking habits never got me in any trouble or situations of embarrassment.
Well . . . except on one occasion, which will haunt me as one of my most embarrassing moments. At around the same age as the previous tale, I was staying with a friend and his family for an overnight visit. In the middle of the night, as I slept, I walked into his parents’ bedroom and made myself comfortable.
On their bed.
With them.
(Banish the thought you perverts!) Needless to say, it was quite awkward when morning arrived.
I know that said friend is reading this post, and I would like to take the opportunity to thank him for being so cool about the whole situation, as there was great potential for harassment, especially considering the age.
Fortunately I seem to have kicked the sleepwalking habit. Yes, I am/was probably deeply disturbed. A possible employer will probably read this blog sometime down the road and think, “This guy is ****ing crazy!” and thus deny me employment and I shall be ruined.
Now that embarrassing facts have been published and made official, I would like to draw your attention to a blog I have been reading lately. It is entitled: Your Webcomic is Bad and You Should Feel Bad. I am not on the cutting edge of discovery as this is a well-known blog, but I thought that I would just mention it.
The blog offers fiery rants about different webcomics, and why the author hates them. The raw, unflinching emotion that is expressed in the blog is delicious. It does have a lot of swearing, so if you would rather not experience the darker side of the English language, I suggest that you stay away. I also wouldn’t recommend it if you do not read many webcomics.
I won’t keep you much longer. A few months ago I stumbled upon a comic called The Zombie Hunters. The name itself is pretty self-explanatory. It is an excellent horror/zombie comic, and I would highly recommend it to fans of such genres, or if you just like good comics. It does have copious amounts of swearing and violence, so if avoiding such things is a goal in your life, steer clear.
Keep your eyes on Everyman 2, which I have been neglecting . . . a new comic is in the works and should be posted in the very near future.
Quick game review: Crysis.
Awesome.
Later.
Ah . . . it is a triumph to host this comic under its own domain. One of the joys is that I have much more control and power . . . while it might not be evident in the immediate site build, I foresee improvements in the future once I become more comfortable with the code.
This comic . . . I don’t have much to say about it. I am very pleased with how it turned out. I might point out that the x-ray on the wall is an actually my knee after I had it replaced.
I don’t know when I will be returning to a regular schedule, but I am hoping it will be soon-ish. Apologies for a boring blog entry. I’ll try and make them more gripping in the future.
Alright, see you all, hopefully in the near future.
Thus it begins! This section will soon be filled with the latest news of Gamer Candy! Old news from the ancient site will soon be archived here, anticipate a new comic sometime in the very near future.
