I loved SpongBob, and I still do. It’s a funny show even though the latest ones suck because they’re not funny and have too much singing. So as you can imagine I was shocked when I was told that it was accused of being related to homosexuality. First of all, to this day I cannot see a distinct connection, and second of all homosexuality isn’t a bad thing. I have homosexual relatives and they’re the nicest people you could ever meet.

I wonder what was so homosexual about SpongeBob? Was it that SpongeBob and Patrick are such good friends? The fact that they were always causing trouble for Squidward? I just cant see the connection. Maybe it was his voice? But no that can’t be right. It’s just a kids show with a talking sponge. Maybe it was just too groundbreaking; people couldn’t handle a sponge living in a pineapple under the sea. Its just too good, and I guess some people cant take it.

Well, I got Mass Effect 2. The problem was it wouldn’t work. Whenever I started it, nothing would happen. Eventually I had to reinstall Steam which uninstalled all my games. But it works now and that’s all that matters. Despite being a real pain in the ass. Well now all I have to do is beat Mass Effect 1 again because my saved game got erased and I want to upload my progress. It’s not really what you would call ideal circumstances, but hey, there are worse things than having to play Mass Effect again.

Hope you all enjoyed the comic and have a good weekend.

Noah

I am drawing a huge blank for the blog, so I am going to present you with a list of things that traumatized me as a child.

1. A “documentary” about ghosts.

When I was about eight or so, I was visiting cousins in Albany. We watched a show about haunted places in America, with interviews and stories about ghost sightings. This hour led to a deep-rooted fear of ghosts.

2. My first screamer video.

Screamer videos are irritating, certainly. It was maybe, nine or ten at night. I was in my pajamas, probably at age eight. I received an email from my uncle that involved searching a picture for something . . . I am not sure. I was instructed to turn my volume up loud to listen for “whispers.” I stared for about twenty seconds, and then a horrendous scream blasted over the speakers and a black and white face appeared. I remember there being just a moment where I sat back in my chair with my mouth open, and then I began screaming. Our computer was in a loft about eight feet up, I leapt from his height in an attempt to escape the horror.

3. My kindergarten teacher’s description of the digestive system.

My teacher was giving us a (somewhat inaccurate) description of the workings of the digestive system. She described how the small intestine selected what nutrients to absorb. “Ohhh, carrot. SLOOOORP.” She explained with her hands. Her face then grew darkly serious and she spoke of a scenario where the small intestine rejected chocolate. The only thing I can remember her saying was “and the chocolate goes on . . .” with her eyes wide and terrifying. I remember nothing else, but I was deeply concerned about what horrible problems that rejected chocolate could cause.

4. Seeing the cover of Jason Goes To Hell.

I had to be about four or five, and I was looking through videos in Safeway. I was so tender and innocent that all it took was one glance at the cover of a movie to literally induce nightmares.

This is what I saw.

Honestly, I can see why that freaked me out. It is terrifying.

Have a good one,

-Nathan

Did I mention the attempted axe murder?

So anyway, here we are. To tell the truth I don’t have much to say and I haven’t got much time to do it. Not the worst combination possible, but it still ain’t cool. I would like to say two things however.

The first being that The Hurt Locker just came out on DVD. This is a very good movie and is well worth watching. I’m so glad I now have the opportunity to see it again. If you’re reading this you should stand up immediately and forget everything else and make it your mission to check out this movie.

Secondly, the game Mass Effect 2 is coming out real soon. The original Mass Effect is one of my all time favorite games and the second installment looks to be even better. It just can’t come out soon enough.

Well that’s about it, I’m afraid. Hope you all enjoyed the comic.

I apologize for my absence last week, I was just not “feelin’ it.” I felt that portraying a nude Tim running from a bear crying for help officially signaled that the well had officially run dry. Kind of ironic that I would post it again, don’t you think?

I am truly spoiled by Poop in Bed, which exists in an untamed, lawless plain of existence. I established it as a “doodle comic,” which basically means “I don’t have to care if it looks good or not.” Of course I do care, but establishing it as a “doodle comic” has erected solid barriers of confident impenetrability.

Compliment the art? Thanks!

Criticize the art? It’s a doodle comic man, it’s supposed to look that way.

My hands-off approach to the writing is great. I send an email demanding a script. Bam. It comes. The best part, though?

Don’t think it’s funny? Oh well, Joel wrote it.

Think it’s funny? Thanks! I made a few dialog suggestions that really pulled the comic together!

It has officially ruined Good in Theory, which has become a soul-drenched beast that feasts on my physical and mental vitality. I have to actually try to come up with ideas, draw things so they look decent, color, think about backgrounds, and if it is criticized, it is like you are literally raping my soul.

Well, that last part was a bit extreme. Attacks on Good in Theory do feel a bit more personal though.

That is why, friends, you got two Poop in Bed comics last week, and no “real” Good in Theory comics.

I felt I owed you an explanation.

-Nathan

Del yawno.