I don’t think I have rats in my house, but its a possibility. I haven’t been in my attic in over 6 months so maybe there’s a rat or a trapped plumber up there, but who knows? The idea of rats doesn’t necessarily terrify me like it does to other people I know. My whole history class freaked out at the news that there was a mouse infestation. If it was a rattlesnake infestation, then I would have sh*t my pants, but mice? People even pulled their feet off the ground as they sat in their seats as though at any moment a mouse would climb up their pant leg and violate them sexually. Mice tend not to be aggressive, rats are a different story though. Have you ever seen rats larger than your average corgi dog? Well, me neither, but I want to, just not in my own home obviously. Rats, if fed well can get so fat they can grow to amazing sizes. The good thing is they’re so chubby that they are unable to chase you effectively, unless you’re in a wheelchair, then your screwed.

So anyway, rats are cool, but I must raise the question. Does Fiji bottled water really come from Fiji? I mean how much fresh water can a Pacific atoll produce? What makes Fiji water so special in the first place? All very important questions. I mean if I’m going to invest in a bottle of water, what guarantee do I have that I’m not buying purified sewage water from Fiji? Or if it’s even from Fiji in the first place? The proof is in the fine print “Natural Artesian water”. A-ha! It’s from a well in Fiji. Okay: now I know that when I buy this brand, I’m buying well water from Fiji, how comforting.

I should start my own bottled water brand! It would be great! I’d call it “Bikini Water: Fresh from the irradiated atoll.” For those of you out there who have no idea what I’m talking about, Bikini Atoll is a island in the North Pacific that we (the United states) blew up during Operation Crossroads when we were testing the effectiveness of nuclear weapons. So now the island is so radioactive that it is uninhabitable by human beings. Truthfully, it is a terrible place to get water so my idea wouldn’t work. You know what? I’m going to stop talking about this because I’m even starting to bore myself.

On a more interesting note, I witnessed somthing very odd the other day when I entered a movie theater with the intention of seeing “The Taking of Pelham 123.” There was a line set up at the entrence with about 7 people sitting waiting for somthing. I asked the second group of people in line out of curiosity what they were waiting to see. The three girls in their early twenties looked up from their cell phones and said “Transformers! We’ve been here since 7 this morning!” Mind you it was 8:30 in the evening. So those people had been sitting there all day waiting for the latest Michel Bay film, and the really sad thing about this was they wern’t even the first people in line. If that’s what they want to do, more power to them, but man thats a loooong time to wait for a movie. I wonder if it was worth it?