another great facebook status for nathan

wellsir, remember last week when i was talking about those pirates? of course you do. turns out i wasn’t hallucinating or making up stories, as i’m sure you’ve heard by now – the pirate story was all over CNN, all over the internet – so i’m sure you heard about it. exciting right? and you didn’t believe me. for shame.

you’ve joined me at a very exciting time. yes, its that time of year for the first time ever:

WHEREIN I EXAMINE THE CONTENT OF RANDOM PEOPLE’S FACEBOOK STATII

STATII ONE: BELONGING TO A “JAMES”
if i was my contacts in my eyes i wouldnt hate me like they do!
ruling: illogical. contacts don’t have feelings and therefore cannot possess feelings towards you, though if they could they probably would hate you

STATII TWO: BELONGING TO A “LINDSEY”
has 2 classes and 2 exams left. After that ten days till i am married!
ruling: congrats. i will not attend your wedding
i was not invited but that is besides the point

STATII THREE: BELONGING TO A “KALYN”
is so bored at work he is considering naming each of his toes with a meaningful name.
ruling: cute. how about you name them “I” “live” “a” “boring” & “life”

STATII FOUR: BELONGING TO A “SUSAN”
is bitter and wants to kill something.
ruling: okay im not actually gonna mess with you

STATII FIVE: BELONGING TO A “NICOLE”
And the curtain falls again, of course. Never enough; yet, always too much, all at the same time. Forever.
ruling: bad song lyric. google searching…
no results! perhaps original work?
keep your day job?

i spend waaaaay too much time on facebook these days. i recently completed my finals and quit my job, as i mentioned, and just came to the bleak realization that i have absolutely NO THINGS planned in my future. literally i will wake up tomorrow with absolutely nothing on the radar. that hasn’t happened for a long time. i might go back to school next year, who knows? seriously my life could go in any direction at this point, who knows where? i could be selling hot dogs in new york in two months. and with the economy the way it is, i will be lucky to get that!!!!

the truth is actually this whole recession thing hasn’t really effected me yet. if it wasn’t all over the news i wouldn’t even be frightened of it. im sure in five months when i realize man cannot live off of packaged noodles alone i will begin to fear for the future, but for now…. bring it on economy. i got this one.

well, its 2:16 am. i have no reason to get up tomorrow morning so i’ll probably sleep until 1 pm. but i don’t wanna stay on here past two thirty or else i’m REALLY gonna start feeling like a bum (which my unshaven olympics ‘88 tshirt wearing self of course did not promote already). goooooooood night..

oh, what? poop in bed?

this comic refers to a video posted on youtube a coupla days ago. it hit like fifteen million views in two days and got these two employees fired. theyre really gross. that video got taken down, but here’s another copy. It’s gross!

LOVE
JOEL