my cd player in my car is broken. my tv remote is broken. my mind? starting to crack. i’ve mentioned this before – but i’ve watched more MTV in these past two months than my entire life. there is nothing of quality on that channel. nothing! ive watched more entertaining things on the family channel (ALF anyone? i still genuinely find ALF hilarious…)

but like i said, my cd player is also broken. i don’t know what kind of luck i’m having. but so i turn on the radio. and what do i listen to? top 40 music, the bride of MTV. rihanna, kanye, t.i., britney, pink… i can name their current records and top charting songs. what is wrong with me? i used to be so elitist. “pff! you listen to justin timberlake? you must have no taste!” i was a genuine high class music snob. a terrible quality, to be sure, but i was happier in those days.. these days, i feel my brain turning into a sort of mush, wherein a socially acceptable response in affirmation has become “defs” (definitely), “probs” (probably) or even the dreaded “maybs not guarans” (maybe, not guaranteed. this is in actual use in youth culture.) I am saying these things! And not just to friends!! I went to buy some chips today and the cashier asked if I wanted a receipt and I said “defs”!!! I of course immediately apologized but the damage had been done.

but i always make a vow to make the best of any situation. so with all of this new knowledge and insight into youth culture, maybe i should at least embrace it.

and what better way to do that than by reviewing the top charting singles of this day & age??

kanye west – love lockdown

kanye

okay, okay, so i don’t “get” rap. i’ll be the first to admit that. not that you’d ever be surprised, i don’t think i could fool anyone into thinking that i get rap. but i’ll still admit it. that said, all these rap kids do nothing but complain about kanye not rapping anymore, in favor of this new-fangled ‘auto tune’ software. i sort of get that. it’s sort of annoying. personally, i am ashamed to admit that i secretly listen to kanye west’s old stuff in my car. if anyone resembling a true rap fan is anywhere near my vehicle, i will turn it whisper quiet. even then im afraid they will recognize the bass, knock on the window, and do that throat cutting motion. its not like pop music – some people just aren’t allowed to listen to rap. me being one of them.

that said, song’s decent. 7/10

rihanna – rehab

rihanna

when i first heard this song i think i said something like “THIS IS AWESOME” but like, in a cool way, and stuff. but seriously. i shouldn’t like this song as much as i do. frequently i will youtube it just to listen to it again. and by frequently, i mean it’s playing as i write this.

its pretty good. 9/10

taylor swift – love story

taylor

wow i just realized that i’m going to give this song a pretty good rating too. like, higher than kanye. uhh…

seriously. im not a weirdo… but… 8/10

uuhhh… gonna cut my losses. WOO ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP RULES

am i in the clear?

ok. poop in bed, y’all.

love,

joel