If you got time, and don’t mind the occasional profanity laced offensive heretic blasphemous lewd colourful and all around good time, you should check out. A YouTube sensation! But be warned. He uses very colorful language. And by colorful, I mean very, very profane. But if you’re “hip” with the “scene” (whatever that means) you should get a coupla lols out of it.

If you use Facebook or it’s drug-laced strung out older brother, MySpace (and admit it – you use one of them. Don’t be ashamed) then you’ll know that occasionally you get friend requests from weird Vegas-wife looking 40 year old women. “Hmm.” you think, “I didn’t meet any 40 year old women with piercings surrounding their eyelids recently, did I?” You assume not (though who knows!) and decline the friend request.

But what would happen if you were to accept?

That’s where I come in. I’m like mythbusters, only way more useless.

VEGAS WIFE 1

(Personal invasion of privacy? Maybe. But you just know that corporations google “stock woman photo”, create profiles, then get lonely guys to send off credit card numbers for potential nekkid pics)

So Vegas wife #1! Looks friendly enough! Her location was in Alabama, and being from Canada, I really don’t know anyone from Alabama (or even Arkansas for that matter!), so I found it weird when she sent this strangely personal Facebook message.

Hey! You look nice. Wanna chat? Hit me up on AIM. My AIM user name is ***********.

I complied.

Instantly she begun a conversation. Evidently a human individual was personally sitting there waiting, and was definitely not an automated computer script.

Sandycheeks31: Hey!

bigbrothajonpimpin: Was hattenin’

Sandycheeks31: Thanks for adding me.

bigbrothajonpimpin: No probbbs

Sandycheeks31: How are you?

bigbrothajonpimpin: keanu reeves

Sandycheeks31: I’m great. Do you want to see some pics?

bigbrothajonpimpin: no

Sandycheeks31: Accept this ;)…

Sandycheeks31: Rats! It’s not working. I hate it when it does this. Here, why don’t you just go to this site… *********

bigbrothajonpimpin: wait a sec, you’re not just a automated computer script that just sends out programmed responses and then spams a link at the end, right?

Sandycheeks31: I’ll see you there…. ;)

bigbrothajonpimpin: no, you won’t.

So that’s one. But now it was time for:

VEGAS WIFE #2…. ah, screw it

They’re all the same. Seriously I tried twice more and they were exact variations on the same automated script.

I hope this has been insightful for you.

The more you know.

Alright! So we’re poopin’ in bed once again (disgusting).

I was actually once looking at pictures of monkeys in people clothes during class one day, and when I showed the person next to me they actually had to duck into the hallway because they were laughing so hard. So apparently – monkeys? People clothes? Surefire comedy hit.

Alright till next week

love,

joel