Don’t you like it when we help you make decisions? Just turn off your brain, settle in, and we will help you in the tough decision of whether or not to continue consuming flesh.

Watch out, the comic has a lot of words this week. My bad, I was on a roll and the words just kept pouring out. I guess if the text is too much, I threw some cool colors and stuff, so I guess you can look at those and go, “Whoa, cool colors.”

I was pretty pleased with the art this week. I tried a few new techniques, one of which was some texturing, which I think really added to the art. There were so many text boxes covering up my blood sweat and tears, that I have prepared another image for you, completely devoid of any text. Mostly so you could see the barn door that I so loving crafted just for you.

This week’s comic actually spun from a discussion Noah and I were having. It involved Noah saying, “My teacher said that vegetarians actually have an increased rate of brain deterioration than people who eat meat.”

“Cool,” I responded. It seems like a somewhat outrageous claim, and I seriously doubt the veracity of this statement. I will happily believe it though. I want to believe it. It’s like when you first start to have doubts about the existence of Santa, you want it to be real so bad that you will actually force yourself to believe.

Then I found this FAQ on PeTA’s website, detailing why you should stop eating animals. Honestly, I thought the whole thing was stupid (as I think most of the things PeTA does are). I understand not wanting to eat animals, but the whole article was just annoying to me. The quotes in the comic are actual quotes from that page.

I want to talk about PeTA for a moment, if I may. Contrary to previous sources, we are not WeTA here at Good in Theory (Webcartoonists for the Electrocution and Torture of Animals.) I mean, I can agree with them on some levels, such as not hurting animals, and treating them humanely but . . . come on. I love meat, and I think that a lot of people agree with me. I also like milk, cheese, and eggs. There is nothing about squash that compels me more than a medium-rare steak. Maybe I would despise PeTA less if they weren’t such a pack of hippy-psychos. I have spent hours browsing their site, as it is just like page after page of crazy. The funny kind of crazy, not the “Lock-you-in-a-basement-and-wear-your-face-as-a-mask” crazy. Take a look at this panel from this absolutely hilarious PeTAKids comic:

I think it is funny how hard they have to compel children to hate the researchers who use animals for tests. It isn’t enough that they “cut the animals’ heads off with scissors,” oh no, “they laughed” while they did it.

As for animal abuse, I have a small fuzzy dog of my own, who I rarely if ever abuse. (Simmer down psycho-hippies, that was a joke) although I do admit to laughing when I do it. Take this photograph from the aftermath of my most recent round of abuse:

In my defense, I was not the one who actually purchased the costume.

So I watched the election last night, and, to no big surprise, and something you obviously already know, Barack Hussein Obama II is now the 44th President of the Untited States of America. It’s actually pretty exciting, having your candidate of choice win for once after eight dark years. Watching Obama’s first comments in Chicago after being elected revived my patriotism. A patriotism that over the past five years Dubya has been furiously molesting. I am really hoping that this will be out of this filthy latrine that we have only been wallowing in as we sink deeper and deeper into the raw excrement.

Obviously if you are a McCain fan, you are probably pretty bummed out, and my semi-gloating post probably isn’t helping you feel any better. Let’s look at the bright side:

-No more madness-inducing political ads: “In 2004, Senator McCain voted in favor of burning puppies. Honest! Fo’ realz! We have no reason to lie.”

-If the president ever, EVER screws up, you can immediately say, “well, I voted for McCain *SCOFF SCOFF*” and feel incredibly self-righteous for a short period of time.

-Palin can continue rockin’ Alaska like she does best.

-Bush is gone! Well . . . in January he’s gone. But still. No more Bush! And if you are one of the 30% (and I am being f***ing generous) or so of Americans who still support Bush. Wow. I . . . uh . . . admire your . . . devotion.

I was checking FOX News (don’t ask why, this is not something I make a habit of) and I saw this article about how President Bush spent election night. I actually had to laugh. It must really suck to be Bush. I mean think about just the political ads. He plops down on the couch to catch an episode of Gossip Girls or Dancing With the Stars and then this ad comes on:

“You know who really sucks? George W. Bush. That guy is such a douche. McCain is basically the same as Bush, so a vote for McCain is a vote for Bush. You don’t want another douche for President do you? Remember: McCain=Bush, and Bush is a mondo-douche . . . who sucks.”

I really don’t think you could easily resume enjoying the smooth moves of Lance Bass after seeing ad like that.

New Poop in Bed up on Wednesday accompanying Joel’s blog post, and here’s a link to last week’s if you missed it.

-Nathan