Congratulations!

Why is this a feat, you might ask? Staying alive? WELL, and as if you haven’t enough to worry about these days, apparently our doom might come to meet us on October 21st. Forget World War 3, Global Warming, and SARS (whatever happened to SARS? people were worried about this being another plague… but it turned out to be just another Y2K. how disappointing.) – if you want to get worried about something for no reason, meet the LARGE HADRON COLLIDER.

Terrifying! Now, you might be asking, what is this immense Stargate SG-1-ish looking thing, and how likely is it to transport alien babes to our galaxy? Well, hypothetical blog reader, apparently not very likely. The purpose of the machine is, as far as I can figure it out (and I got a C- in Science class) is that these Scientists (or as I like to call them – NERDS – because they are smarter than me and will always make more money) are determined to figure out what happens when certain particles smash together and create dark matter, which is weird and doesn’t make sense to me – but basically, they want to prove some theory that some dead guy wondered about. Cool! I will wait for them to do that while I play Ninja Gaiden 2 (which is less fun than it sounds).

Alright. So basically people are worried that doing this Science stuff will create a miniature black hole which will proceed to suck all life in the universe into it and we will cease to exist. That would kinda suck. But we gotta prove theories!!

There’s no way to know what will happen until they turn the machine on October 21st. We’ll see what happens.

In regards to this, here is my favorite website in the world right now.

Changing gears entirely, we have another Poop in Bed for you today. Spam email is weird, and it is confusing to think that it must sometimes work – people ARE making a living off of it. Who is gullible enough to fall for this stuff? My personal favorite spam email involves the rich dignitary living in Africa who has funds locked in a bank account somewhere and only YOU can unlock it, simply through five easy payments of $19,000. The thing about those emails is that every time I read one I still somehow think that MAYBE it is true and that by deleting it I am blowing a huge opportunity.

My other favorite spam email is the threatening chain letter. These go something along the lines of “send this to 11 of your friends or the spirit of the dead girl will come and murder you in your sleep!!!”. I think it would be a pretty boring afterlife if you spent it threatening people to send out email forwards.

But of course, one of the most common and popular chain emails is the ever-effective penis enlargement email, and it is the starting point for this week’s award-winning Poop in Bed.

till next time!

joel