Well, hi! It’s nice to meet you, hypothetical blog reader. My name is Joel, and this is my first blog post since a couple of months ago!! I guess that’s actually not that impressive. I collaborate with Nathan on the future bestseller Everyman, a complex and multi-layered narrative focused on the perils of one Trent Hughes, a bubble wrap technician turned hero. If I may drop all modesty for a moment – it is awesome.

I toiled at making these comics by myself for months, and the results, while “charming” (actual quote), looked as though they were drawn by some sort of half-weasel half-man creature. I am at most quarter weasel. But Nathan seemed to take a liking to them and I was happy to let the art become leagues above terrible (actually very good). Of course, now I am leeching Nathan’s bandwidth for a little while as the first issue gets worked on, so I figured I would try and earn my keep. By the way, this is a very nice server you keep here! I especially appreciate the taste in php broadband vector filter monitoring (<– nonsense).

But before I do earn my keep, may I first introduce the first comic in our newest series, aptly titled “Poop In Bed”. It is a simple comic designed purely to elicit laughter, in what I like to call a “lolmageddon”.

POOP IN BED

Seriously. What is there in those movies that needed fleshing out? I was at best mildly entertained by the first. It had some okay chase sequences and explosions, as far as I remember. But after being dragged to the embarrassingly named “2Fast 2Furious”, I no longer wanted to be friends with Paul Walker.

The scary thing is, in looking up information about this prequel, I came upon the trailer for “Fast and Furious”. And somehow I find myself thinking that it could actually be pretty sweet. It looks mildly entertaining! If I were at the theater, and someone was like, “Let’s see the new Fast & Furious!” I could see myself agreeing! What is wrong with me?

Anyways.

Earn my keep.

As we all know, Gamer Candy, or by it’s new name’s acronym, GIT (pretty hilarious acronym if you ask me), is a solid source of laughs every Wednesday. So what better way to earn my bandwidth than to direct more people to the source? In lieu of shouting “gamercandycomic.com!!” out my window (which I briefly considered), I decided to let the lonely operators at the LandsEnd.com technical support line have a early morning chuckle.

I conducted this chat at 8AM! Which begs the question – who rushes for technical support on their cardigan sweater purchase as soon as they wake up? Puzzling.

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Sharon L: Welcome to Lands’ End Live! How may I help you?

Joel D: hi sharon

Sharon L: Hello. How may I help you today?

Joel D: first off, how are you, sharon??

Sharon L: I’m good, and yourself?

Joel D: changing the subject, do you often find yourself bored at work, sharon?

Sharon L: Is there anything I can assist you with today?

Joel D: boy, i hear that. sometimes i get so bored that i SHOUT at my co-workers!

Sharon L: Sir, is there anything you need assistance with?

Joel D: you know, that pushiness could be a result of not enough laughter. did you know that doctors prescribe 5-7 laughs per day?

Sharon L: No, I didn’t know that.

Joel D: i have the perfect solution. check out GAMER CANDY! it will change your life.

Sharon L: Sir, if there’s nothing you need assistance with, I’m going to have to disconnect this chat.

Joel D: it’s just that i have this new outlook on life thanks to laughter, and i feel like i have to share it with everyone. now i know how mormons feel

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And with that, Sharon felt the need to hang up on me. But I feel like I really got through to her!

With my civic duty done, I decided to take a little time off and explore the social side of Lands’ End. I really did enjoy Sharon’s buttoned down approach to life and decided I would like to spend the rest of my life with her.

Unfortunately, I was next connected to Barb, who I pictured as a middle-aged grump. Favorite TV show: Two and a Half Men.

I decided to try my luck.

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Barb F: Welcome to Lands’ End! My name is Barb F. How may I help you today?

bigbrothajonpimpin: A/S/L

Barb F: Can I help you with anything today?

bigbrothajonpimpin: do you like kissing

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And with that, she disconnected the chat. Can’t say I blame her.

The next day, I was sitting at work with nothing to do (as per usual). I decided in lieu of the typical beer surveys I usually fill out (which net you an amazing $5 per survey! a steal!), I would conduct one last chat with the my new friends at Lands’ End.

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- joel.